Granted. You can type faster. So fast, that your fingers couldn't handle it. They got so tired and numb that you could not use them for eternity.

I wish graphics cards are cheap, and we had an extra copy of Starcraft 2 so me and my brother could play.

Granted. Graphics cards become cheap, but Starcraft 2 goes berserk, and you blow up for no apparent reason.

I wish that people all around the world started to globally masturbate. (Wtf?)

Granted. But apparently, masturbation is so horrible that only 19 people did it in the entire world. One of the people is you, and you couldn't stop for such a long time that you get a stroke.

I wish I got a driver's license so I can use it for ID purposes.

Granted. Unfortunately there is no hologram on the ID and you get barred from bars, clubs and anywhere that serves alcohol, or cigarettes.

I wish September was here already.

Granted, but as my birthday is in September you all have to deal with the fact that Russia gives me control of their tactical missiles for one day and I nuke half of the planet in a giant pattern that spells out "Fuck you all I am 19 now and you're all going to die"

I wish the women that ask me out didn't always turn out to be complete fucking sluts.

Granted. Instead, transgenders became extremely attracted to you and couldn't stop chasing after you. You die of dehydration after a desperate attempt to run from every transgender you see.

I wish I was a Spectre operative, and did not go crazy on Terrazine.

Granted, but you get shot point blank in the face moments after wishing and you die from having your brain severely trauma'd.

I wish Feed Me did more tracks.

Granted. They made more tracks in the name of fans. When you were out to get them, something terrible had happened... a 5-ton vault fell on you, crushing you to death.

I wish I'm more excited about going to college.

Granted. However, your college gets bombed by Taliban terrorists and reopens on 15th August, 2173, by which time you are 100 years in your grave somewhere in the middle of the desert in Kazakhstan for some mysterious reason nobody actually remembered how you got there in the first place.

I wish I could teleport. And without any gene splicing with other species or in to solid or liquid tangible objects. Also not in to space.

Hahahah that is a weird corruption.

Granted. You can teleport everywhere, much like the dudes in Jumper but without the consequences. One time, you teleported to a place you thought had a floor. Instead you teleported to a sinkhole. You fell into the great unknown, dying in the process.

I wish I had 2 more weeks before school.

Crap, forgot that loophole.

Granted. You have 2 more weeks before school. 2 weeks lasts precisely 26 seconds.

I wish Microsoft would re-release Windows XP.

Hahahaha it did kinda feel like that few before I started school

Granted. Microsoft re-released Windows XP. Unfortunately it was only a 5-minute release and you were ill-prepared for it, so you never got your hands on a copy. You committed suicide in front of Microsoft.

I wish I enjoy my day of school tomorrow.

Granted. you enjoy your day at school, but the minute you leave school you become incredibly depressed and begin cutting your wrists.

I wish there was something actually decent to eat in the house.

Granted, a very fancy restaurant known for serving delicious food caters your dinner tonight. It was a wonderful dinner, and you felt satisfied when you went to sleep.

I wish that I could wish for a wish with a fish named Tish on a dish with some other fish who like to wish.






[EDIT]: I'm from 15 years in the future, traveling into the past to reveal the consequences of your wish that seemed so perfect. This morning, you woke up, and felt like today would be a great day. Unfortunately, the food you ate 15 years ago had very slow-acting carcinogens that just caused you to get Stomach Cancer. It is incurable and very fast acting. You died 15 minutes after being diagnosed.

This post has been edited by DavidRoxZoRs on August 21, 2010 03:54 am

HAah, nice corruption.

Granted. Your rhyming wish gets you a job as a high-payed author of poem books. One day, the printing manager asks you for so much (the greatest epic of 10,000 pages) that you die of overworking after trying to rhyme the fifth line.

I wish for the newest L4D2 DLC to be released earlier.

This post has been edited by iliketoblowzombieheadsoff on August 28, 2010 05:11 am