The First Scream, Who will hear it... |
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The First Scream, Who will hear it...| SDWBOSS |
Posted: November 18, 2007 12:40 pm
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 Elite zombie Butcher  Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 1407 Joined: June 30, 2006  |
Is that why no-one reads mine?  --------------------  |
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| Jest3r |
Posted: November 18, 2007 06:10 pm
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 Experienced Killer Group: Members Posts: 93 Joined: February 26, 2005 |
To SDWBOSS- Thank you for your compliment. Please continue to read and post feedback as you see fit!
To Tanker- Ah, yes it was quite some time. For a while I did consider walking away, but I kept getting new ideas, so here I am! Thank you for reading. To iliketoblowzombieheadsoff- Thanks! As for your story, you just have to take more time. See the story in your head like a show, then write down what you see, slowly and carefully, and be sure to edit! Keep writing. Thank you all for your feedback. Please, if you haven't already, read the latest installment and tell me what you think. I am always open to comments and criticism! -------------------- -Jest3r
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| Tanker |
Posted: November 18, 2007 09:33 pm
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Last hope of Mankind Group: Members Posts: 748 Joined: February 15, 2007 |
its not that its bad quality people are just lazy... -------------------- When He opened the fourth seal I heard the voice of the fourth living being say, "Come!" Then I looked and saw an ash-colored horse. The name of its rider was Death, and Hades followed him closely. Authority was granted them over a quarter of the earth, to kill with the sword, with famine, with plaque, and by means of the wild beasts of the earth.
-Revelations 6:7-8 |
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| iliketoblowzombieheadsoff |
Posted: November 18, 2007 10:02 pm
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 Ratatatatatatatatatatatattatatt Group: Members Posts: 4896 Joined: May 26, 2006 |
No problem!!!!! Thank you for the advice... it's more clear to me now. Usually I don't edit.... I get too lazy. But, to make my stories as good as yours, I sure will!!! Thanks once again, and keep writing your amazing stories! -------------------- Current game(s): Uh uh not updatin' this no mo
Looking forward to: Some shit Name Shortcut: Zombie, Isit, Bob(not recommended) |
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| Jest3r |
Posted: November 20, 2007 06:16 am
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Experienced Killer Group: Members Posts: 93 Joined: February 26, 2005 |
To iliketoblowzombieheadsoff- Any time. I'm eager to check out your stories more, so keep writing!
To the readers- Please offer any feedback you may have, comments or criticism. I am open to all, and will respond to all. The feedback is why I enjoy writing here so much, the compliments encourage me to write more, and any questions allow me to analyze my story more. Criticism and suggestions allow me to think about my style and make changes accordingly! With heavy editing, I do intend to stretch this story out longer until a conclusion, so please, help me by asking questions, commenting, or critiquing the story so far. Thank you all for your support so far, and please keep reading! -Jest This post has been edited by Jest3r on November 20, 2007 06:18 am -------------------- -Jest3r
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| Tanker |
Posted: November 20, 2007 06:36 am
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Last hope of Mankind Group: Members Posts: 748 Joined: February 15, 2007 |
ok um... well i loved that little twist thing with izzy. stuff like that keeps us guessing. um... nothing really to complain about. so far this is the only story i can really keep up with so i have nothing bad to say
 -------------------- When He opened the fourth seal I heard the voice of the fourth living being say, "Come!" Then I looked and saw an ash-colored horse. The name of its rider was Death, and Hades followed him closely. Authority was granted them over a quarter of the earth, to kill with the sword, with famine, with plaque, and by means of the wild beasts of the earth.
-Revelations 6:7-8 |
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| SDWBOSS |
Posted: November 20, 2007 08:55 pm
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Elite zombie Butcher Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 1407 Joined: June 30, 2006 |
In other words, J3ster, keep it coming!
 We'll gobble it down just as fast as you can post it. -------------------- |
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| Jest3r |
Posted: January 27, 2008 04:03 am
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Experienced Killer Group: Members Posts: 93 Joined: February 26, 2005 |
RECAP: Izzy and Poole lay dead in a lonely, blood-stained room. The face of Poole finds a permanent mask of confusion and bloody agony. The haunting past of Izzy sits before her, a thin trickle of blood running from its mouth onto the slide of a sliver weapon, the beautiful luster blotted out by the red water of tragedy. A black night grasps West Town as if to strangle all hope from its metallic confines, masking the flight of two rogue Pandora operators. A radio signal traverses through the dark air, passing through gunfire and flesh to reach two helmet radios dashing down a set of interior stairs. Their footsteps pound each step, sweat pours from their brows. They stop at a floor labeled with aging red paint as the seventeenth floor. The signal crackles into their ears…
“Red Fourteen and Red Nine, this is Red Dispatch Team, cease your movement. We know who you are.” The pair sat panting for a moment under the staircase, sheltered from the higher flights, their legs burning with pain from their descent from the roof of the seventy story building. “Jack,” said Red Nine. “Or, Red Fourteen if you prefer. I think Red Command,” he paused as he heard the click of a door above them. Sarcasm leapt into his words with grim resolve as he continued, “found out we don’t like them very much.” Jack grinned slowly. “Never were big fans of apocalyptic conspiracies, were we?” Red Nine nodded, stifling his chuckles. He glanced up the stairwell, his sidearm pointed straight up. His head quickly darted back as he whispered, “Ready for this?” “Ok, go!” The pair darted from underneath the stairs, each firing three shots upward. They returned to cover. Jack slid the magazine out of his pistol, counting the rounds before he pushed it back into the weapon. “Four left in this mag. You?” A rushing sound accompanied his inquiry, the sound of plummeting figures. The two tumbling objects displaced air in front of them, pushing a brief reprieve of cold air against the faces of the rogue Pandora operators. Red Nine removed his magazine and cursed softly. Two bodies fell past them, each revealing a thin flow of blood to tear out of three holes ripped neatly in their respective sternums. Without giving a glance to the unfortunate and gravity-gripped assassins, Red Nine pushed another magazine into his silver handgun. He smiled wearily as he said, “Remind me to thank Red Seven for giving us extra ammunition on our way out from Red Command.” Jack began to walk down the next flight of stairs, his legs screaming in fatigue with every step. He motioned for Red Nine to follow. “Do you think he knew we were getting hit today?” “Of course. He knew they had to be on to him too, or else he would’ve told us directly.” Red Nine continued to follow his fellow saboteur, his thoughts slowly spinning the events of the past day. “I never thanked you for what you did on the roof today, it-” Jack interrupted him with a quick turn of his head to look at his partner. “I wouldn’t expect you to, we’ve been running and crawling down these damn stairs since it was light out,” he chuckled. “Not much time for apologies when we’re ducking from sniper fire when we leave the stairs and shooting anyone they send from the roof. You’d think they’d stick with their mission but no,” he let the word drawl from his lips for a second. “They spend their time hunting two operatives because they’re pissed off. And you’d think…” Red Nine rolled his eyes as he let Jack rant for a moment. He finally had enough and simply stated, “Well, thanks anyway. I guess you’re not such a piss-poor shot after all.” Jack laughed. “Thank you kindly. Maybe next time you can save my ass from a sniper. Maybe- what the hell was that?” Both stopped their descent. A sound travelled from a floor below, a thin wheeze following by a cough. Jack raised his pistol and allowed his instinct to flow through his muscles. Red Nine put his back against that of Jack’s. He tapped his helmet to let Jack know he was ready. The pair carefully continued to walk downwards, back to back, weapons prepared for an attack from any direction. The wheeze down a flight of stairs turned into a pant around the next corner. Jack leapt forward and swept his arms right, tensing his finger to pull the trigger back. The bloody figure was on its back, moving slowly up the stairs. It turned its eyes to gaze at Jack. Jack and Red Nine stopped. Red Nine dared not look away from his direction in the event of an ambush. “What is it, Jack? Who the hell is that?” “Identify yourself,” Jack said with a cool flick of the tongue, his mind ready to deal a swift and violent end. No response. The man sputtered a burst of blood. Jack calmly raised his pistol to ensure he would destroy the brain of the man with the bullet. “Identify yourself,” his eyes let a glimmer of sadness escape as he whispered, “please…” The figure raised a palm to halt his demise. The man, one hand held high and the other pressed tightly against a bandage on the side of his stomach. With a deep gasp, he said, “My name…” he took another deep breath, “is Davis.” -------------------- -Jest3r
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| [Eternal]Sh@rpShooter |
Posted: January 28, 2008 04:11 pm
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 Just another Survivor Group: Members Posts: 21 Joined: January 26, 2008 |
ur story very nice like land of dead but keep up the good work i am new member
-------------------- Years Later Experment will make DEad to LIving Dead
Be prepare for any fail experiment COZ men are finding ways to let human live for ages to travel to other space and Galaxy THe ENd |
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| Tanker |
Posted: February 15, 2008 05:08 am
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Last hope of Mankind Group: Members Posts: 748 Joined: February 15, 2007 |
excellence as always... always worth reading when your writing
-------------------- When He opened the fourth seal I heard the voice of the fourth living being say, "Come!" Then I looked and saw an ash-colored horse. The name of its rider was Death, and Hades followed him closely. Authority was granted them over a quarter of the earth, to kill with the sword, with famine, with plaque, and by means of the wild beasts of the earth.
-Revelations 6:7-8 |
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| Jest3r |
Posted: February 16, 2008 03:31 am
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Experienced Killer Group: Members Posts: 93 Joined: February 26, 2005 |
To Sharp- Thank you for your compliments, and welcome to the community! Please keep reading and offering your feedback. Feedback is what really motivates all of us here.
To Tanker- Your continued support has really encouraged me to keep writing. I intend the next installment to be longer, and more filling- outlining the fates of several team members and of West Town as a whole. I hope you'll enjoy it. Any more comments, criticisms, feedback? All forms of feedback are welcome. Keep reading! -------------------- -Jest3r
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| SDWBOSS |
Posted: February 16, 2008 06:29 pm
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Elite zombie Butcher Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 1407 Joined: June 30, 2006 |
*Does morris dance* There you go, keep writing -------------------- |
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| Jest3r |
Posted: February 17, 2008 12:53 am
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Experienced Killer Group: Members Posts: 93 Joined: February 26, 2005 |
To SDWBOSS- Thanks for the dance! I certainly will keep writing.
Thank you all for your support, I will try to post the next installment as soon as I can! Keep reading and writing. -------------------- -Jest3r
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| Jest3r |
Posted: March 22, 2008 09:11 pm
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Experienced Killer Group: Members Posts: 93 Joined: February 26, 2005 |
NOTE: I am posting this story on the ZP forums as well to gain more attention. I am posting it, its not an impostor! If you see the story posted anywhere but on the BB or ZP forums, please notify my via post in either forum.
Thank you! -------------------- -Jest3r
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| Zombie Assassin |
Posted: March 24, 2008 01:25 am
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Last hope of Mankind Group: Members Posts: 645 Joined: October 02, 2006 |
I still love this story... and Jester, you make great storys. You should make novels.
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