can some at leat agknowledge/feedback my story, i wana write more, but i need somefeed back first!

it would be great if i got some feedback

er....uh....interesting.. j/k its pretty good so far! keep it up...one question i could be wrong here....but what rank is Cain? and if he is a trainee he has no athority whatsoever telling thsoe guys what to do.I probably misssed taht part. Second. ALL PARATROOPERS HAVE RADIOS while on a Training drop. So thsi begs the question..why the hell not stay in the cave? it would be standard procedure to call sarge, and sit one yur sorry asses and wait for him...guess im jsut looking for problems with the story....DAMNIT NIKKU I CANT FIND ALL THAT MANY! oh well keep it up I need more story so i can REALLY rate it.............

in next part of story u find his rank- it might even be raised. He is his Squad leader, read the story over again. When he hit the ground his radio broke, explains why he can't use his, and he onyl picks up berkenson's signal. Also the only way to get out of that training mission was to kill the 4 screamers!

anymore comments?! qeustions? someone psot one then i will make new part-o-story

A lot of scifi stories coming up..

Yeah yeah its nice, but why you need feedback after each episode/part?

thier is like 3/4 sci fi stories now, and i just like to kno that ppl are still reading it, just a saftey measure.....

h aha ha aha hot plasma wtfs going on sounds like halo ns doom and full metal jacket all in one silly

Wow, that sounded really ignorant. HALO isn't the only reference to plasma gun/rifles/weapons and it surely isn't the first! so, how is it doom, im making everything up, not taking stuff froom movies/other stuff

in a little bit it will sound like a movie, probualy which no one ever saw though

No problems with using a plasma rifle. If you're going to be so hard on him for using typical sci-fi stuff why are you even playing this mod? Startlingly enough there were zombies (and yes, zombies in a mall) in several movies waaay before this. Most fiction is completely plagarised from other sources - conventions like lasers, plasma guns, spaceships, cryostorage etc are all established concepts that people use all the time in stories.
Basically, soldiers in the future have futuristic weapons and go to futuristic places. If the gateway to hell opens up and the spawn of satan sweep through a scientific base whilst an alien race attack and the hero becomes a cyborg commando then you can say hes ripping it off.

Woulda been nice if youd used "GET YOUR ASS TO MARS" in an austrian accent

One thing, you're slipping between tenses every now and again - the last post starts with "They have" which = present tense, but later on its "The marines retreated" which = past tense.

ok, thank blaze, i didn't mean to do that obvisouly......

i don't understand what

"Get your ass to mars" - Total Recall, Arnie Schwarzenegger,

It basically meant people rip off older ideas all the time without even realising it, nothing wrong with it. A gun that fires superheated energy is a good idea, its been used before and it will be again. Theres only so much that can be made up.

agreed, lol I kno, evenutauly people mill make everything up, and everything will jsut be the same......that sucks......

its like doom 3 cos dooms on mars plus there silly flying monsters sounds like doom and i know zombies are science fiction why would that meen i dont like them get your facts right :lol:oh and i said its liek ns doom 3 an dfull metal jacket didnt say he was ripping it off the only thing i said was the hot plasma thingy

alot of things are on Mars, "silly" flying monsters, wow u are ignorant how are they silly, And for your information, I NEVER PLAYED ANY DOOM GAMES. Its not like NS its completely orgiganil, al the things are from me and the little man that sits on my shoulder, so STFU. Last itme i checked this story isn't Silly, i think that you have been sucking to much "silly" gas....

my facts are striaght you are just putting that in your post to make yourself look correct, oh yeah I'Ms NOT RIPPING OFF PLASMA, PLASMA IS THE 4th PHASE OF MATTER (science), THE IDEA OF PUTTING IT IN A GUN IS USED BY ALOT OF PEOPLE SO IT'S NOT "RIPPING OFF" OR STEALING IDEAS....

Oh yeah, i suggest you learn to type so that people can understand you better