Who said it was a flame thread and also, wouldn't the moderators edit the posts of the flamers if there are any to stop it or jsut delete the posts, before closing the thread!

it was a good story keep wrighting u have to spell better though also do not use the F bomb that much it gets annoying and it dosent add to the story

F- bomb ads relism becuase I mean I fould be cursing like hell if i saw the dead walking, sure u would to

A slicing sound was heard blood shot to the vent wall on the right of me. "Frigg'n Mice" I said I grabbed my shiv out yet another mouse...... this happened with 3 so far... I hate mice. By this time I was crawling for about 45 minutes, I starting to go crazy for five minutes untill I saw a mouse, I started talking to it and told it about what was going on. Then Other mice came and he started making fun of me with the other mice.... so I killed them. I was getting hungrey, but i didnt want to use the only thing they gave me; a small bag of Chexs Mix. After crawling for about 15 more minutes (I was now about to go crazy from only have a cm of space on each side, and also the air was getting quite stuffy) I passed a grid in the vent. I crawled up to the grid and began looking threw the grid. odd grumbling noises were herad from out side the room I was looking into. My face lit-up when I saw a cabienet in the room with a lock on it, but on the cabinet where 3 rifles. I think jsut about then i crapped my pants (Not really it jsut felt like i was from excitment). The room was big from the angle I was looking at, then again I am in a vent. The only lights were red tinted lights under a grid like floor. I pulled on the rope attached to my foot 3 times, this ment I found weapons. I then started getting very cold, very fast, The Air Conditioning was turning on. I furoisly started to try to unscrew the grid's screw with my shiv. I got one screw out but i cold already see frost collecting on the sides of the vent, and now the air in the vents was speeding by. I Got so scared for my life that I had the biggest adenaline rush of my life so far, and crawled past the grid and the started kicking it. After 30 secounds it gave up and I dropped down with out thinking twice, as soon as i hit the ground, a gun barrel was shoved in my mouth.
A female voice ask "Who are you?'"

Please.... pretty please....... pretty pretty please...... FEEDBACK!

I would have appreciated it if you held onto the piece where "I" is trapped and the cooler turns on. Have him panicking fo'real, about to scream and stuff.
Also it's a little chaotic, some misspellings and stuff.

Very cool Nikku. I find myself wonder though. He's been crawling for an hour, I would assume that even in the very small space he would have travelled a fair distance. This would mean that he is dragging a hell of a lot of rope, and that it would be very difficult to relay a "pull" message from a long distance. Maybe he hasn't gone as far as I'm imagining?

think about it:
ur used to a desk job
and now ur crawling for and hour in a small vent: i think it would take him about 5 minutes to get a couple feet, also that vent has no room in it.




Also: IT is from his view, it could jsut feel liek an hour when it was only like 20 minutes

But enough room to turn around and kick the vent out? Sorry, I'm getting too into the detail I guess. I'll just enjoy the ride, carry on.

didnt turn, he jsut crawled HEre look:

T----H---I----S--i--s--h--i---m
Vent

(To break vent)
(ignore the Vent -)

T----H---I----S--i--s--h--i---m_feet
----------------------------Vent---------

Then he like wiggle up and downbut hard and stuff like kicking

Ok Ok, just give us the next scene already! The fans are getting ravenous.

Tired, I dont wana add something like robot ninjas again, tomorrow morning i have to go becuase my dad say this sight isn't good to show all theese little kids crowding around, when i get up they're going to like latch onto my arms and legs

hey its me again... heres more story...
------------------------------------------------

I started to cold sweat, as another soldier aproched me... it was a male and he had his helmet off I looked into his eyes as he walked over, one was grey with a red puiple and the other one had a blueish tint allover it, it was all white and also had a red puiple. He walked weird almsot like he was stlaking prey, and then he came right up next to me and sniffed my neck. A drop of sweat rolled off of my chin and his hand grabbed it and he licked it.
"He isnt afraid... I like this man..." He siad as he cracked his neck, to reveal a chemical burn down the right side of his neck, and a bar code tato on the back of his neck.
The women who had the gun in my mouth stated "Tell me what you name is" as she pulled the gun slowly out of my mouth.
"Eric... Eric... Eric... wow... I forgot my last name..." I stated and she holstered her glock-18 pistol.
The woman took of her helemet, but she had a type of ski mask, but it was thin... and all i could see were her pitch black eyes... she demanded in a straight face "Take off your clothes, we need to check you for bites"
I removed my prisoner clothes, and she checked around for bites... I saw about 5 other people in the back of the small room.
"Doc, Get over here..." she siad as she scanned me one last time.
A man in the same style suit came over, except of had more pouches and he was sacring a satchel. He put the satchel bag down and looked at me.
"Sting him, 20 cc's of red and give him 10 ccs of X" she demanded to him.
he reached into his pocket and took out 3 seringes, he put needles on them. And made sure no air was traped. A soldier threw me a suit of the same style armor as them as well as black clothes to go underneath. I dressed myself in the black clothes, they fit snuggly and they were supposed to for free movement. And then I felt a burning sensation in my neck... and then another and then a tickling one. I grabbed my neck and held me hand there... I didnt want to ask what they jsut injected me with jsut yet, i was hungry as hell... And then they told me to sit down and relax and eat this paste and drink this pink liquid... it all amde me feel very refreshed. The medic said it was highly consutriad minerals and vitimans as well as proten and carbs... and it didnt taste half bad. When i was finsihed eating i got all the armor on, except for the head pieces, and they pushed a button on my side, and I told them about the others. The rope was still hanging out of the vent, we tried a sack to it, containing a radio, more of that paste and liquid, and weapons. And i pulled 5 times and then the sack started to go back through the vent.

They said we would get some sleep and then figure out a plan for us to get to them, it was about 25 minutes until I heard Tex's voice on the radio...

omg i luv your stories, yours r like the best, i sorta forget about the site for a while and always remember and come back, another thing, u said u were gonna become a writer, u should become a script writer for movies cus we need some awesome zombie movies, all the dawn of the dead and land of the dead(although i havent seen land yet) r all like the same thing, 28 days later was sorta diferent but still, i luv the story and hope u keep writin!!!!that was a long sentence, lol