Very good story, as I've said some times before. You could describe just a little more. (like what theyre wearing and such) I say this almost all the time....
I'm looking forward to the zombie-mashing parts

word

Well im up to date n yur story and it owns all storys by 23689 complete zombie heads..hah. anyway keep it up!

This one seems to be much better than the last one I saw, and I never bothered to look at your others. I firmly believe in quality over quantity, so when I saw the number of stories you had, I figured they wouldn't be at all good, but so far I can say this isn't so bad. You just really need to work on your spelling, either typing slower, or using a spell checker, since the best story in the world can be reduced to ashes by the flames of Spelling Nazis.

Now, on to more criticism:
1) Your descriptions are lacking still. Try fleshing out your descriptions with more words, give them a little more feel. Zombie movies without detail and gore aren't really worth watching, right? Well, zombie stories without detail and gore aren't really worth reading.

2) Practice writing narrative dialogue sequences, instead of using the script format you've been using. While this is the last thing I should be preaching as it's my weakest area, strong stories are never written by weak writers.

3) Don't try to write when you don't have enough time to. Make sure you have more than enough time to write what you want, so it's not rushed, or has to be cut off in mid post like you've been doing. Writing in a rush or when you're tired can make you do a lot of stupid things, as you're aware.

4) If you can, start writing the next post right after posting, and save it to a word processor, that way you can work on it when you have the time, organize it and make sure it's all good for when you next want to release another post. I rarely write anything spontaneous off the top of my head, even if I can create the entire story needed in about 2 minutes.

5) You shouldn't write for recognition, but because you want to. For someone that says they want to become an author, you can't always expect to constantly receive praise and fame for what you write. There are a lot of other writers out there trying to do the same. Writing is not a get rich quick job, very few authors ever become millionaires. J.K. Rowling managed to do it with her Harry Potter books, and she's the first female millionaire author ever.

Anyway, hope you take my advice here. This could become a much better story if you work on what I advise.

once again u act like you are the best, which ur not, you are also acting like stuck-up "snobe-ish" brat, no effence Once again I addvise YOU to read your posts before you post them, I mean as in politness and respect, which you don't show at all. And calling me a "Weak Writer", GTFO.

QUOTE

3) Don't try to write when you don't have enough time to. Make sure you have more than enough time to write what you want, so it's not rushed, or has to be cut off in mid post like you've been doing. Writing in a rush or when you're tired can make you do a lot of stupid things, as you're aware.

Not my fault if I have to get off computer, don't critisize. IT's not my fault, noone else seems to complain so it seems that you are just LOOKING for STuff Specificly In MY stories, so its obvous that you have something against me, Although I don't know what.

QUOTE

) You shouldn't write for recognition, but because you want to. For someone that says they want to become an author, you can't always expect to constantly receive praise and fame for what you write. There are a lot of other writers out there trying to do the same. Writing is not a get rich quick job, very few authors ever become millionaires. J.K. Rowling managed to do it with her Harry Potter books, and she's the first female millionaire author ever.

I don't except all postitive praize, but thoose who do post negitive don't have to act like ass-hats about it. I am not even doing this for Money, jsut a quick FYI. I don't plan to get "rich" off this story, its jsut practise.....so once again, Bite me In The NEck, no effence.

Rock the Word, The Word Up

*SHWOOOM* The sock Nick was lighting went up in flames. The sock was resting inside a bottle full of car oil.

"Put down the Sheet metal down NOW!" screamed Nick

A shiver was sent up Nick's spine as the sheet metal hit the concreet, Closing off the zombies, He lobbed the cocktail behind the siding, so the building wouldn't catch fire. A quick flash, then 3 zombies lit up, spreading it amongst them like wild fire. Nick bent down a grabbed his double barrel shotgun, he was wearing a hunting vest over his Pantera T-shirt. Liz walked up to him and asked him "OK, you sure you wana do this?" her light blue t-shirt flurtering in the wind. Tim, who changed from his Cop uniform, to a black tee but still kept his belt and holster, threw a rope will several knotts tide on it for easier climbing, then attached it to a hook on the roof. "All set, Good luck man". Brad was shaking, holding a 9mm pistol, still in his dark blue work uniform. HE walked over to Nick who was standing on the side of the roof "Yo man good Luck.....". Brad relized he was still wearing his pin saying "Hi my name is BRAD" he quickly took it off and threw it at a zombie, stabbing it in the head.

Nick slung his double barrel shotgun over his back, then throwing a repeater rifle over it. Sliding a 9mm pistol in between his back and his jeans. He bent down again, picked up 3 more cocktails, and lit them up and lobbed them. Once again mroe zombies, behind the siding cuaght fire. Tim walked up to Nick and handed him a Garden Axe, "Remember the plan, Take out all theese Zombies in between the sheet metal and the wall, nothing else, make sure you dont catch anything on fire with thoose.
*Clank* Brad threw more siding down making a rectangle around the front entrance. Nick looked down at least 9 Zombies, hissing, rotting, were trapped in the space, and it was up to him to clear it, with a little help from Tim of course. Nick walked over to the rope and grabbed it, securing his feet then screaming "Cya later, guys" HE wuickly repelled down the 12 foot side of the S-mart. He hit the ground with a thud, quickly jumping to his feet.

2 zombies closing in from both sides, and fast. He swung the axe, hitting one in the head, send at least a gallon of blood shooting up in the air. A zombie stumbled for him, he ducked the Zombie over shot, and Nick sent his Axe right into the Zombie's exposed Spine. "Come On, You Ditry Motha Fuckas! Bring it on!" A zombie with tatered clothes and his lower jaw missing stumble toward Nick, He brought his axe back, ready to strike. When arms shot around him, He screamed. Fighting for his life, but it was useless, he couldn't break free.
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I'll leave ya with a cliff hangzor!

feed teh BAck?

feed back PLEASE!!!1!!!!!

Here is MAp of infestation on Day 2

Red Dots=Infested
Blue Dot= Where story is taking place ATM

nice, luv it, hope he dont die :'(

I am jsut teh wondering who is joor favorite Charater? So far?

Come on ppl FEED BaCK!

FUCKING REPLIES!!!

HOLY SHIT POST FEED BACK !!!!!!!!!!


If no one posts feed back in the next 3 days the story will be...........STOPED

Fuck this I Declare This story CLOSED

PS: Don't Lock it, I may finish it....LAter....alot later.........alot alot later........

PsPS: Don't Delete it either

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THIS WAS MY FAVORITE 1 AND I WAS GONE SO DAY AND COULDNT POST PLZ CONTINUE IT IS AWSOME. i had been waiting the 2 days for the next part cus i couldnt get on and u close it, :'(, im disapointed