J'S BAR, just another day on work![]() |
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J'S BAR, just another day on work| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 13, 2005 08:15 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
hey listen im from denmark english isn't my best
-------------------- yeah dude
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| Nikku |
Posted: January 13, 2005 08:15 pm
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![]() Mr. Coke ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 3114 Joined: December 12, 2004 |
why would u want paper and paint?
-------------------- Only when you gick, will you truly fish...
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| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 13, 2005 08:19 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
to make a sign that says HELP!! or ALIVE!
-------------------- yeah dude
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| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 14, 2005 03:23 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
what do you think about the story
-------------------- yeah dude
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| -=Jouni=- |
Posted: January 14, 2005 03:38 pm
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Elite zombie Butcher ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 1456 Joined: December 07, 2004 |
Eh
Heard of the magical edit button? The story is not bad, but dont spam like that. Im from Finland, and my english is still better than yours. Yes, im pissing off, but thats me You should 'Preview Post' before posting and look for typing errors, and the like. Atleast when you're writing the story. EDIT: The Edit button is in the upper right corner of your posts, lets you edit your posts instead of making new ones. |
| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 14, 2005 03:40 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
what is that button
-------------------- yeah dude
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| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 14, 2005 07:01 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
Pete had went upstairs for some paint and paper. Jay had talked about making a sign. he had found the paint and now he looked for some paper. Jay's apertment had three rooms.
kitchen/liveingroom bathroom bedroom Pete had looked in the kitchen and the bedroom so now he was on his way to the living room. "paper. where can it be" the door to the firestair opend and someone came in. Pete took his bat. he did't know who many they was so he took some knife to throw after them. but what if they was't insane. it could be some soldiers. "hallo who is it" no one answarerd. lucky for Pete it was day so the apartment was't dark. he came in to the bedroom and looked around a man stood in left corner. but his face turned the other way. Pete knew that he was't human so he took his bat and hit the man.the man let out a moan and felt to the ground. suddenly to others came in from the window and then three and four and five. Pete turned away and ran out of Jay's apartment. when he came down to the bar Jay was started blocking the back door whit chairs and tables. Jay: did you find any paper? Pete: ohh no but i find something else Jay: what Pete: ohh people's. but they was infected. suddenly a bit of the door felt of and a arm came to view. Jay: PETE!!! BLOCK THE DOOR TO THE APARTMENT. JANIE! YOU AND YOU BOYS HELP PETE. then one more arm came throug the door. the tree that blocked the windows felt of and infected people trid to get Jay. Jay: they have broken the window blockade!!! one of the boys ran over to the bar and took some bottles. jamie: i need some paper to put in the bottle! Jay: what are you doing? we dont have time to drink now. jamie: no but we can burn them. whit the whisky. Jay: we dont have any paper. try in the basement. jamie opend the door that lead down to the basement. it was complety dark -------------------- yeah dude
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| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 14, 2005 07:22 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
please coments please
-------------------- yeah dude
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| Elite viking |
Posted: January 14, 2005 07:30 pm
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Veteran Lord Carnage ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 |
Try to make descriptions of the people within the text, like that Pete just notices how they dress, blood stains, scratched clothes, long\short hair and the like. It adds realism.
EDIT: Jamie could have made a molotov without paper, a ripped T-shirt or other clothing would have done the work. Unless it really matters to the story... dark cellars ALWAYS have a lot of zombies |
| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 15, 2005 12:20 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
Jamie had opend the door to the basement and began to walk down the stairs. he could hear Jay yelling on Pete. he had to find something to put down in the bottles so that he could make molovtov's. the basement was competly dark. but ofcourse jamie had a flashlight whit him. suddenly the top window broked and a some infected tried to come in.
"damn. better hurry." some boxes was stabeld on a big table. he began to look for something he could use. "come on there must be something down here i can use" jamie found a old revolver and some bullet's. he put the gun in his pocket and took the bullet's. he found some comics too. the infected people was almost throug the window. he loaded the gun whit 3 bullet's and ran upstairs. Pete and janie had blocked the door to Jay's apartment. and now they was blocking the windows again. jamie: hey i found a gun in the basement and some comics to burn!!! Jay: NOT THE COMICS!!! it was to late jamie had one molovtov in his hand. Jay: fuck you!!! it was my favorite comics!. Pete: come on we have to block all entrance! Jay checked his pumpgun. he had 14 shells back. he knew that that was't enough. suddenly the backdoor made crack and then it felt of. hordes of zombies tried to come throug the big blockade. Jay just stood there.jamie had starterd shooting at the infected.but he could't take them all down.now there was no place to go now. now they had come trough. now the final battle began! -------------------- yeah dude
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| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 15, 2005 06:45 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
coments?
-------------------- yeah dude
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| Keyes |
Posted: January 15, 2005 06:51 pm
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![]() I'm On A Boat ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Moderators Posts: 2264 Joined: December 04, 2004 |
yeah, twas cool. like the bit with the comics, lol
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| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 15, 2005 06:52 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
thanks
-------------------- yeah dude
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| Nikku |
Posted: January 15, 2005 06:56 pm
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![]() Mr. Coke ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 3114 Joined: December 12, 2004 |
hallo is spelled hello
felt is spelled Fell nice story though -------------------- Only when you gick, will you truly fish...
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| DUDE-MAN |
Posted: January 15, 2005 06:58 pm
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![]() Zombie Hunter ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 106 Joined: December 10, 2004 |
thanks im suck
-------------------- yeah dude
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