Update. *Points up*

I was excited by the first paragraph. I think it would be almost more terrifying to watch the military lose than to be caught up in the action on the frontline. The second paragraph intrigued, I'm wondering where the SWAT team is off too, and why they don't want the military to know. Third paragraph was confusing and I had to read a couple of the sentences several times to understand what you were trying to say. But, I'm interested in the possibility that James may not be a goody-two-shoes cop. I like protagonists with a little dirt under thier fingernails.

Lewis sat on the inside of the large UH-60 Blackhawk helicopter checking over the mission data on his small laptop. He was the silent type of person; he always seemed to be more concentrated on his duties as a national guardsmen other than his own life. Perhaps it was his life, muscular structure and patients with everything made it seem so. After all, he did act like his brother, Joseph. Lifting his fingers from the keys on his small computer, he placed his fingers between each gap in his knuckle area. Pushing forward a loud crack rang out from his joints and soon after the fingers returned to the keyboard. His glare fixed itself precisely onto the screen. He scanned over the layout of the city and various entry points he'd marked previously in the day. The faint sound of footsteps clicked into the chopper interior. His head shot up from the computer screen and to his left.

Standing at the entrance of the sliding door to the transport area was the pilot of the aircraft. Lewis nodded to him and shrugged, "What's up?" He simply said in his slightly childish tone. The pilot smirked and entered the chopper, "All systems are checked and ready to go. I loaded the ropes on, should be easy to slide into the field now. Also, I prepared her with an extra load of fuel incase you boy need pick-up." Lewis nodded in approval and turned back to the computer, "Great, we'll leave shortly." The pilot slipped himself into the cockpit of the craft, flicking various switches and going over a last minute check of his aircraft he gave a grunt of approval, "You're going in with everyone?" The pilot asked in curiosity. Lewis lifted his head once more and nodded, "Yes. I'm heading in with the squad and providing intelligence and my marksmanship."

The pilot curled his lips into a small smile, "The boy I used to watch for Joseph back when you were young is growing up. What weapon are you using?" Ryan laughed at the comment and then lifted a large, camo plated rifle from his back. Carassing its heavy weight in his palms he stared down upon it and spoke, "M16, This and my Colt Nineteen-eleven pistol." The pilot lifted his hand to his chin and scratched it gently, "Wow. Packing quite a good weapon there, Lewis." He nodded with a sigh to follow, "Yeah... Enough to keep our men safe." The pilot bit his bottom lip, "Good luck out there, man." Lewis's optics perked from their place on the rifle and to the pilots serious face, "Thanks," He simply said, "I'll need it."


The twenty-five troops gathered around the large chopper. Each wearing a black tactical vest and beneath a dark green jacket, most of the squad has rolled the sleeves up to the shoulder blades for comfort in the warm, Summer air. A pair of urban camoflauge pants resided at the legs of the squad members followed by kneepads strapped over kneecaps. Each sat quietly on their right knee keeping weapons slung tightly to their backs. Joseph and Lewis then walked before the squad, "This is it boys," Joseph spoke firmly, "This is not a drill. We are roping in an actual combat area. Mount up!" Joseph finished his speech quickly; the group of soldiers all piled into the helicopter and strapped themselves into the seats along the helicopter walls. Lewis and Joseph climbed in after the men and took their positions at the front of the chopper; each of the two fitted a headset over their ears and placed the microphone a strand away from their lips. The helicopter's rotors began to spin slowly, picking up speed with every slash into the thick, humid air.

The choppers rotors were soon whirling quickly; the pilots gave thumbs up and pulled the aircraft into the air with an arch. Hovering above its previous landing area the pilot pushed forward onto his control stick and pushed the helicopter forward and on its way to the city. Joseph stared down into the small journal at his lap; Lewis on the other hand was staring at the communications specialist across the small loaded area. He knew the man, Lewis pondered over the name. It suddenly came to him, it was Nick Gordon. Nick had been one of those ex-special forces types and he'd given most of the people here the reason not to mess with him. First person whom tried joking with him in the lunch line placed themselves a step in front of him. Of course, Nick did not take much humor to this and the private was soon sent to the infirmary for fractured ribs and a broken wrist. Nick was fixing his Sig Commando rifle to almost perfect firing precision. Lewis watched over Nick with ease that the squad had shaped into a band of respectable soldiers and not street punks, His gaze moved over to a soldier to his left. A woman, she was the medical specialist. Her name was adrift in a haze of twenty-four others jolting around in his mind. So few members yet he'd never quite found the time to place most of their names to faces. Leaning inward the pilots spoke loudly into their headset, Commander Stukov, we are closing in on drop zone alpha. We will release all cargo and troops to the military outpost, sector C. Youre on your own from there, sir. Joseph spoke back in reference to the information, Roger that, rendezvous at the hospital landing zone when given radio confirmation that we have secured the civilians. Joseph slipped the small journal into his vest and removed the rifle from his back. Scanning over each of the men, Joseph was almost looking to make sure theyd not screwed up with one piece of their equipment. Lewis felt sweat trickle from his forehead, it seemed almost impossible for him to not be nervous. He was only twenty, a kid in most of the mens eyes. The only reason hed gotten the position of Squad Co-Commander, if that indeed make any sense to anyone of the men in the squad, was because of his brother.

Nick began speaking with others sitting next to him, Cant believe this First time out is a baby-sitting job. Others around him laughed at the joke then dismissed it with ease. Nick continued on, keeping the morale of the team high with his humor, I thought Id never see the day when Id have to save a civilian and not shoot something. Maybe Ill score in a few innocent kills just for the hell of it. Those around him again laughed. Nick left it at that, his jokes caused him to lose interest in fun quickly. His head turned to the right and stared out the window of the closed door on the helicopter. Joseph reached his hand down upon his holster and unbuttoned the clip that kept the sidearm buckled tightly in. Lifting the Beretta Elite to his left hand, Joseph pulled back on the weapons chamber; a hollow point round entered into the weapon. Joseph released on the slide and closed the casing in securely. Thrusting the pistol into the holster once more, Joseph buttoned it easily and returned to his staring at his rifle. It was complete silence, all except for the thick lashing of the rudders into the air. Joseph's chin rested on his shoulder now as he peered into the cockpit and to the pilots, "ETA?" he asked calmly. The co-pilot shot his hand upward with three fingers, three minutes until drop off.


(Yeah, long time since I last posted. Anyway.. I left the other part of the story on a cliffhanger for now and started writing about the National guard and what they were doing and stuff.)

This post has been edited by Dobedo on October 28, 2005 04:37 am

Is the story not good anymore?

yeh man it is you just havnt written for a while KEEP GOING (cracks whip)

Great, but please, post a little more space. It's easier for the eyes.

Alright, at the moment I am kinda busy with school and Army prep things, post what you'd like to see in the story so I can have some ideas when I get some time.