Prologue

Crimson Dawn

The morning fog had barely risen when the first shots where fired. Officer Jordan Chace had been standing around all morning, fully armored in his riot gear. The dead, many of them his friends from the force, had been gathering outside of town all morning, riot walls had been set up, and had been very effective at keeping the creatures at bay.

"How much longer do you think it will hold?" Petty Officer John Borum had asked earlier that morning.

"Hopefully till the fog rises, we have no chance of holding them back if we cant see them, we will run out of ammo before we get through the first wave...IF we were even given the chance to notice the first wave had come upon us" I had answered. I hadnt thought much of what would happen if the gates had fallen, i feared thinking about it might make me to scared to fight, getting me killed in the process. so i just shoved it to the back of my mind, and as those basterds chipped away at the wall, they were also chipped away at my sanity.

The small city of Oakland, Maine had a total population of a whopping 300. The houses, well shacks really, didnt provide much in the sence of heat or warmth, but at least it kept most of the rain off the backs of the few people who lived there.

We were called in by the populace, because of reports of riots. of course, we were not prepared to what we found. We adapted quickly, we pushed back the creatures and set up walls around the parameter of the city, using bits and pieces of the shacks. The wall had been holding up well against the onslaught of monsters, untill just recently, when the creaters started beating on it in such unison that we had to send people over there to waste more ammo killing the beasts in fear that the wall would collapes if we didnt.

Ammo was running scarcly low, so low to the point where we had to stock it up for when the creaters entered through the torn wall. They have been beating on it for the last few days.

But now they had finnally broken through, and the gunshots where defening. i was positioned behind a road block (not like they do much good when the monsters just flood right over it) Screams could be heard as our kind was eaten alive, flesh simply torn from the bodies used as nourashment and energy to the dead.

And the worse thing is, those who had fallen, just get up and start attacking us, making our losses their gain. Almost giving us an infinate enemy, that seemed to have a force unstoppable by human kind.

The monsters were not in sight yet. we stood there, all 10 of us armed with some type of SMG (who's name seems to escape me at the moment), for a good 10 minutes, waiting for the screams to die down and our turn to die for our morals.

Finnally, the last screams died out in a horride chorus of moans and groans as the dead consumed their victims. The officer standing next to me had beads of sweat clinging to his forhead, the man was clearly scared, and i guess he had a right to be. knowing we had no chance to live if those things made it around the bend to us. we were the last standing defence before the headquarters, and there was only 20 men there, if we are to fall, then so will our hold on this town. And who knows where the beasts will go after life just ceased to exist here, god knows where they have been...there were definentally more then 300 creatures out there, not counting the ones from our force that had fallen in the initial battle.

As the first one rounded the corner, i had just a split second to think before the ear shattering gunshots of that ever so elusivly named SMG rang out beside me. I do recall thinking about what i would do if i somehow lived through this. Then all thoughts where lost as i applied pressure to the trigger of my very own SMG.



Auther's Note: This is the prolouge to the story, this is so you guys can see, and judge my new writing style..please please please please leave comments.

This post has been edited by mrchace on February 25, 2006 05:33 am

Hmm... some of these things seem awfully familiar =)...

Ok, it seems like a good premise, but some things could use some improvement (I hope you don't mind if I criticize a bit, it's meant to be constructive).

Grammatically, I can see that this is a first person narrative. It is told in past tense (as it should be), but be sure to keep it in an ACTIVE sort of tense. For example, in the third paragraph, you say "I had answered." To make the tense properly active, just say "I answered." It sort of breaks up the flow of the story when you don't make things concise and active.

For example, "I did it," would be used over "I had done it" (technically, thats the same tense change that you gave with "had." See the difference?).

Another tense error I noticed was "They have been beating." This is more of the present tense, I would put "had" instead of "have" in this case.

So far, what is happening is clear, but what has happened is not. But, since this is a prologue, I assume that later chapters will include more of an explanation.

Good job so far, keep writing!!

PS- My criticisms are meant to help, not to offend in any way.

Give us another chapter!

Good job Mr.Chace. It reminds me to keep writing my own.

I wrote a story onley no fucking body sayes anything in it.... not even BOO U SUCK or YAAY U R00L ROFL...