too bad you cant decide their outcomes so shhh

the condom has wierd babies with your jiz and they eat me.

Drops a 1980's star wars original film reel

I pic kit up, only to be torn to shreds by no less than one hundred thousand rabid Star Wars fans wanting this holy grail of sci-fi goodness. The horde leave behind a mutilated corpse, as well as...

A baked fish.

I pick up the baked fish and eat it, once its eaten i realize it was in a puddle of semen from the nerdgasm caused by the star wars original film reel

the semen take over my body and make me the nerdiest nerd to live, until i kill myself because i couldnt get a mint condition han solo star wars action figure

then a random woman comes up and *drops a dildo on my face*

Wahahaahhaah

I look at the dildo and was about to pick it up, till a Rhino rammed me dead crushing my bones... that dildo's got death written all over it.

-Drops a Milkbottle.-

I pick it up, and drink it. Sadly it was from a cow with mad cow disease. This being the worms type, I become a mooing, ticking bomb that makes a nice crater in the ground. In the smoldering ashes, lies an unharmed pokemon card.

HAHA NICE

I pick up the pokemon card... sparking something in my brain to like it!! I collect the rarest pokemon cards after a few years until... until a little boy burns them. I blow myself up along with the boy.

After the explosion, a magic wand appeared on the ground.

I pick it up... then get attacked by a Swat team, so I point the wand at them and... noticing it is very sharp stab and poke every single one of then to death while dodging bullets xD Unfortnately, one of their MP5s went off and shot me in the stomach, leaving me to stagger to my death.

Out of my shirt pocket falls an Ace of Spades with a hole through it...

I pick up this card, peek through the hole, then see a small grey circle closing in. It hits my eye then splatters my head. It was a bullet. I was shot.

-Drops a Grey Laptop.-

I pick up the laptop and get on the internet

now, as we all know the internet is "the devil"
and my soul is banished to hell for all eternity


*drops a devil costume along with red pitchfork (real pitchfork )*

AHahhaahaa. XD

Once I saw the costume, I put it on then was granted evil demon powers
I wreaked havoc for an hour until God smited me with his terrifying lightning. Youch... no more devil jobs. ._.

-Drops a wishbone.-

turns out it is actually a half made voodoo doll that binds to whoever picks it up and as I spit the bone my body rips in half and I die

Out of the halves of my body pops a husky (the dog not the fat) puppy

I pick up the cute lil' husky, pet it and stuff, till it got out of my hands and ran off... I followed it. I ended up seeing 12 other wolves, yes not Huskies.... I was their dinner. AW shiz.


-Drops a... uhhhh, a music CD.-

I pick up the CD (not noticing the dead bodies all around, including a few of my own...)

and im walking home with it in my hand to put it in a CD player and im bending it (cause im bored, ya see?) and it breaks in half and a shard flies through my skull and I die

*drops a nutsack*

/me picks it up and is mugged by chipmunks and killed when they get pissed because they cannot open the wire bag of peanuts (ha un-fucked up your item drop)

/me drops a packing peanut