oh!!! sorry guys been a a busy week. All kinds of suff going down. heres part 12 of op.Necro !
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The howl reached its climax, it had an alien quality about it, like no coyote Andrew had ever heard. Suddenly it stopped, just as quickley as it had started.

Pvt. Hopkins lay on his back.His wound was aching like no other, he hissed has he turned over to see what the others were doing. He saw Cpl.Matthews stroking his m60 looking around nervousley.Pvt. Mellington was checking his M4. Pfc. Reynolds was standing over the other nurse's body. Tears etched down her angular cheeks, dripping down on to her shirt. Andrew feigned sleep as the others looked over, then they started a heated discussion.

"What the hell was that?" Mellington wondered aloud.
"I dont know we need to get the fuck out of this hell hole." Matthews answered.
"Is the radio in the chopper working?"
"I dont know let me go check."
"Nah, I will." Mellington walked about twenty yards to the wreckage. Then he left Hopkin's view.

"What are we going to do about him?" Reynolds asked. She wiped the tears on her face, onto her sleeve.
"I have no clue, can he walk?"
"I dont know......maybe."
"Im asking, will he slow us down?"
"I dont know."
"......."
"I dont know."
"Fine. I think we should leave him here."
"But...he'd die."
"So will we if we dont get out of here right now."
"Now that's no way to treat a fellow marine, Corporal." Mellington entered the clearing, radio wires dangled from one hand, a fully intact radio in his other.

"That thing work?"
"Dunno lemme check."
Andrew heard him messing with the radio. The other two remained silent.
"I think we should bring him with." Reynolds told the Corporal.
"You said so yourself he'd only slow us down."
"I said no such thing!"
"You pretty much did"
"SHHHH!"
The radio came to life, crackling.
"This is Beta 3-36, Bravo 2-1-19 come in!""This is Beta 3-36, Bravo 2-1-19 come in!"
Matthews got on the radio.
"This is Bravo 2-1-19. We read you."
"Thankgod! We thought you were all dead."
"Can you pick us up?"
"Negative, we have no room. We will drop personel at junction 36-z, then we will pick you up. Proceed to extraction zone Delta."
"Affirmative Bravo 2-1-19 out."

Cpl. Matthews looked over a map.
"Shit we got a 25 mile hike ahead of us."
"Suck it up private. lets get going."
"What about sleeping beauty over there?"
Mellington motioned torwards Hopkins.

Intense pain flared through Andrew's entire body. He felt dizzy, his vision clouded for a second, but he managed to get up. Then he jogged over to were the others had stockpiled weapons. He picked up his .44 and ammo pouch among the pile. Cocking the revolver, he grinned
"Who's up for a jog?"
----------------------------------------
They moved at a fast pace at first, but it soon was made apparent, Andrew couldnt keep up with the others at full jog. They slowed down to accomadate him. They had no trail to follow, just a map and a standard military issue Global Positioning System (GPS) They made it to a trail within the forest. They followed this trail for about three miles when it turned dark. Turning on flashlights they continued on.
They moved like this for about five more miles according to the GPS.
Suddenly an alien howl filled the air.
Suddenly another sprang up, then another. They were close. They heard faint growling, very close. Cpl. Matthews suddenly screamed, his flashlight hit the dirt. The M4 screeched.
*TATATATAT!*
Andrew saw a four legged creature come into view on his right.
A wolf.
Wait....it had half of its neck missing,its eyes were rolled up into its head. Blood dripped from its mutilated jaw.
*THOOM-THOOM!*
The .44 roared, the round caught it between the eyes. It dropped to the ground.
*CHA-CHINK*
*BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!!!!!!*
The m60 cut through the air.
Andrew saw Mellington holding Matthew's M60.
Reynolds held an Mp10 it chattered along side the other two weapons.
*TAT-TAT-TAT! TAT-TAT-TAT!*
She fired in three round bursts.
The surviving wolves turned tail and ran, their howls filling the air.
Andrew grabbed her shoulder, he found himself looking down the barrel of the Mp10.
"Sorry thought you were one of them."
"WATCH OUT!"
*THOOM!-THOOM!*
The .44 silenced one of the creatures as it tried to sneak up on them.
"Were did mellington go?"
Were was he? Andrew had been staring at him a couple of minutes ago.
"HEY GUYS COME HERE!"
They saw him running and waving.
"They'res a hou-
A wolf struck him in midstride.
He was on the ground screaming as it tore into him.
*THOOM!-THOOM!-Click!*
The creature fell with a burst from Reynold's Mp10, Andrew reloaded his weapon.
Mellington got up and motioned them along, to a house.
Not really a house more of a large cottage. They piled in, it was empty of life.
Locking all the doors they prepared for a long night.
Reynolds tended to Mellington's wounds, his chest had been torn up. She bandaged his wounds as Andrew lay on the bed.
"What are we going to do? Corporal is gone, along with the GPS.
"Get some sleep. thats what we'll do, g'night"
The night wore on.
None of them could see Mellington's wound.
Under the bandages green puss oozed out, the individual cells being attacked by small bacteriophages. Soon the cells would die out completely.

End of prt. 12.

This post has been edited by OneoftheLost on February 07, 2005 10:24 pm

PSSSST!!!! *looks around* Hey! you! yeah you! dont act like there is somebody behind you! guess what? Op. Necro prt. 12 is finsihed just scroll up to read it!!!
I know...I know...thank me later!
Enjoy!
-OneoftheLost

Good chapter please continue

Operation:Necropolis prt. 13
Pvt. Andrew D. Hopkins sat on the bed, he was sitting in the single room of the cabin. It was dark. He switched his flashlight on. He saw Reynolds and Mellington sitting together. Talking. They looked at him as if he had interrupted somthing important. Like two kids caught stealing candy.Then from the door.

*SCREEEECH*
*CHINK-CHINK-SCREEECH*

He saw the door shutter under the scratching, he could dimly see shapes through the window, out front dog-like-shadows circled the house, into and out-of his vision.

"How long has that been going on?"
"About three hours now"
"How's your wound Mellington?"
A deep throaty chuckle came from his throat "Just worry about yourself, Hopkins, Im just fine."

Andrew listened to the wails and in-human howls from the pack outside.
The other two started whispering as Andrew fell back onto the pillow.
Black.

"It wasn't your fault."
"But...Williams...he's"
"It wasn't your fault end of disscustion.
Hanks smiled we'll get 'em next time.
He walked off. The ever-present black consumed him.
(No, it WAS my fault.)

"The greatest weapon of any unit is your teammates!"
His drill instructer roared in his face, He had let his team down during the excercises.
"Hopkins, what you fail to understand is the fact that you are part of a team! YOU MUST ACT AS ONE!! GIVE ME FIFTY!"
(How right he was...)

"Dont worry about it we'll just buy another!"
Pvt. Cidney Rodriguez laughed at Andrew's crestfallen face as he looked down at the spilled beer.
(Cidney.....)

"Son have you ever been in love?"
"...No.."
(Yes)

Gunfire.
It was behind them, all of them, Cidney, Troy, Jacobs, all of them. One by one it slaughtered them, a big grostuque(?) corpse, Williams was the last one to fall.
Blank, milky white eyes stared into Hopkins.
"no..."
"No.."
"NO!!!!!"

"HOPKINS!!! WAKEUP!!"

Andrew opened his eyes.
Reynolds stood behind an overturned couch.In front of it stood Mellington, his head was cocked at an odd angle, spittle dripped down his chin, the lamplight illuminated his face, but cast a shadow over the rest of his body.

"Hopkins!!! DO SOMTHING!!!" Reynolds screamed has Mellington gurgled somthing and lunged for her.
Andrew's hand searched, suddenly he felt the wooden handle of the .44 in his hands. Without thinking he jumped up, he shot the Mellington in the head,or would have, had not his stomach and legs screamed in protest, he hit the ground.
"Oh great!" Reynolds grabbed the nearby lamp and threw her wieght into a crushing blow to the side of the head.
It hurt so bad.
(Get up)
He couldn't
(Get up)
Reynolds screamed has Mellington knocked her to the ground with a well placed hit from a bloodied hand.
(GET UP!)
Andrew found himself on his feet despite the pain.
He looked down the sights has Mellington reached down.
*WHAPOOM!!!!*
The gunshot filled their ears.
Mellington took a step torwards Andrew, then he fell.
Reynolds grabbed an Mp10 and put the better half of a clip into the now deceased Mellington.
The wolves howls filled their ears.

Sunlight streamed through the windows.
"Are you bitten?"
"You just spent the last half-an hour checking, I sure has hell hope not."
Andrew grumbled, he had taken a Morphine shot but it wasnt enough. Reynolds wouldnt let him have another. After they had finished with the grisley duty of burning Mellingtons dismembered parts in the stove,
(They had a tendancy to not stay down.)
they had checked eachother for bites, each not trusting each other.

"What do we do now?"
"You can try to make a run for it, I can cover you from the roof."

Reynolds laughed. It was a melodic sound, a sweet reprieve to the death filled crescendo of the "things" outside.
The wolves/zombies had been barricaded outside when Mellington had been human, he had helped push a bookcase into the front of the doorway, the only way in was onto the roof and through the attic.

"Nah, Id rather stay alive thank you."
It was Andrew's turn to laugh, he didnt know why but it just felt good.
"Okay-"
The sound of a chopper filled their ears.
A megaphone roared from outside has a Minigun peppered the ground, there was howls and screams from out front, then silence.
"IS ANYONE IN THERE!?!?"
"Yes!"
Reynolds ran out front.

They were aboard the chopper. Andrew didnt know if that was a good thing.
They were civilian.
They had almost no guns, unless you counted the weapons they had taken from the two survivors, everything but they're sidearms.
And they're base was in a mall.
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So? what you guys think? sorry, ive been having minimal feedback so i just thought i'd ask. I want some feedback pple!! especially Blaze. His story owns, mine cant even compare, and he's the guy who can tell me what I did wrong. BUT I STILL WANT FEEDBACK FORM YOU OTHER PPLE!! so dont leave me hangin!

-Latah Zombie Killahs!

I think its great.

Another good chapter keep it going, good story.

Operation:Necropolis prt. 14
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The helicopter landed. The two marines were led, blindfolded out of the chopper. He assumed they were on top of the mall, were the civvy had told them the base was.
They were led down inot the mall itself. After what seemed like hours he heard a loud *CHINK* Then he was shoved in a direction. He captors took the blindfold and cuffs off. He was in a cell. Like the ones most malls had in their security offices to keep people until the cops arrived. Reynolds sat on the bunk across from him. Two civilian guards stood watch.

"What the hell is going on? WERE HERE TO HELP YOU."
The guard only snorted.
A man entered the room. He stood about six-feet tall, he wore a leather jacket and faded denim jeans, his eyes were a hazel, his hairline was receding, yet it still held onto its original color, red. He looked at the two captives, with somthing less the warm greeting, in fact it was almost hostility.
"Either of you a doctor?"
"Yes...I...I am."
Reynolds got to her feet.
Has if a switch had been flipped his features lit up. A warm smile tugged his face, replacing the dead, vacant stare.
"Good. Very good! Come with me."
"mmmhmm. Why should I?"
"Pardon me?"
"I asked Why should I?"
He stared at her for a second. Then he laughed.
"Im sorry, were are my manners?"
He made a grand bow.
"Darron L. Mc.Gowen, of Irish decent, but you can call me Darron. Im in charge here.Some of my settlers here are in trouble they need your help, madam."
"Why are we locked up and weaponless?"
"Because...well...ah hell."
A pause.
"Because the citizens here were left behind, I rescued them, we formed the American Liberation Movement. ALM. We sneak around rescuing people, instead of your loud, useless attempts at a rescue mission. We found that the more noise you military drones made, the more zombies you attracted.Not to mention that your disgusting leaders left us for dead, gone in space. Pathetic."
He spat.
"We continue our rescue operations from this mall."
A scream from the hall.
A civillian with a metal-spiked bat came in.
"Sir, shes in serious pain. Doc. cant help her.
Darron's eyes became slits.
"Now enough talk I need your services doctor."

Reynolds left the cell, Andrew tried the same, but was knocked on his back. leaving an excrutiating pain throughout his body.
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He watched the moniters has the mall security guard sat drinking his coffee. He was a young man, maybe seventeen.His name tag read: Isaac Derringer he wore a bulletproof vest, carried a .45 automatic, had blue eyes and blonde hair, and had an ever-optimistic attitude. In the last few days since they had been captured he had been on his own. Reynolds was constantly busy, and he sensed somthing between her and Darron, who came in once a day to see how "The drone" was doing.

The moniters showed about twelve civilians, mostly women and children cleaning the mall's entry level floor.
The entire mall was trashed, the zombies had made several attempts to get the juicy morsels inside.Fifteen men were on guard duty, patrolling the upper level, looking down into the entry floor. They carried shotguns, pistols and Ingram submachineguns. Two welders were welding a huge piece of sheet metal to the front doors, the fifth layer they had put on. Behind them stood two men with old WWII flamethrowers. Isaac had said they had raided a mueseum nearby for the "Oversized toasters"

Suddenly there was movement on one of the screens, it showed the underworks of the mall, the basement and loading dock. Issac hit the alarm and picked up the intercom mic.
"REACTION TEAM ALPHA REPORT TO BASEMENT, MOVEMENT DETECTED"
One of the flamethrowers and about six men with assorted arms went in that direction.
Five minutes later they appeared on screen.
A radio on the wall blared, the transmission crackling in and out.
"We have *zzzt* about *gunfire* There are *zzzt* too many I repeat too many!! *gunfire*
Onscreen, the flamethrower opened up. The screen lit up, the flames illuminated dozens piling in through a hole were the infected had ripped through the dock's doors.

It took half-an hour and four dead, but the basement was sealed off. Isaac stumbled back in.
"Damn."
Was all he said before he fell into his chair.
They wathced the moniters for the rest of the day, Darron never visited.
Isaac turned the basement moniter off after the zombies moaning started, symbolizing the coming night.
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Keep it up!

Umm.. this is going to be a little random. I'm just going to put things down as I notice them.

Monitors not moniters
Aren't not are'nt
Their = possesive, they're = they are
Were and we're are different words so probably best putting an ' in there.
I think you spell Darron with an e instead of an O, but that might be diff where you come from.
Symbolising is perhaps the wrong word, Signifying would have been better (Symbolising would be like the setting sun symbolises Death - i.e a metaphor)
"My settlers" seems an odd word to use, as they presumably lived in the area before all this. "my people" would probably be better.
"Shoved in a direction" would be better as "Shoved roughly forwards" - a direction is a little vague and distant.
"A warm smile tugged his face" seems a little odd. Is he trying to keep a straight face (in which case it wouldn't be warm but tugged would be appropriate), or is genuinely smiling warmly? Just tugged makes it seem like it's forcing itself on him, "a warm smile developed/appeared/filled/sprung to life on his face".


When I see sentences that could be improved or joined (like the one below) I'm going to type them out and the bits I add will be in bold, and stuff that you've put in which could be removed will be in red. Just for future reference, theres not that much that needs improving.
"He was in a cell , like the ones most malls had in their security offices..."
"...his eyes were a hazel, and his hairline was receding, yet..." - try finishing the last item on a list off with "and", though you don't always need to do this.
"Because the citizens here were left behind, I rescued them, and we formed the American Liberation Movement"
"A scream [B] rang out from [/I] the hall" ("A scream from the hall" is a little out of tense for the story)

Its kind of odd that he's dissing them for their pathetic rescue missions but condemning the leaders for running ("gone in space"? Not sure what that means.) But I suppose he could be disgusted with the fubar they've made of it so far, though its extreme to lock them up for not being good at helping - at least they tried. If you'd said something about the military blocking off exits, or leaving people to die, then that would justify their mistrust.

Who says "what the hell is going on?" Reynolds or Hopkins?

The only thing I can suggest to really improve future installations of your story is just to slow down a bit, check what you've written, ease up on the full-stops and try to string sentences together instead of having them apart. (use "and" more - but dont go crazy now, ya hear?"

The stories going pretty well so far though, keep it up.

DOH! grrr.... okay Blaze made a point i will answer some of his concerns and others i will fix. 1. Darron not Darren in KS its the first one. 2. ("gone in space"? Not sure what that means.) <---- ok. well back during one of the episodes i explained it, but that episode got deleted. Sorry all thats a huge gap in the story so ill explain it in next installment. It might take a while because I'm going to go slower and craft it out more and make it LOOOOnger. so the next installment will be out soon. until then.
-Latah zombie killahs

Been a while guys! how ya all doing? sorry to any dedicated followers had some stuff too take care of. Blaze inspired me to add some more. and fill in the plot holes. heres part:14
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Operation Necropolis: prt 15

Beckie laughed at Andrew has he fell backwords into the pool.
"Silly you shouldnt have fell in, i bet its cold!"
"Pffft!" Andrew flailed around and sputtered
"You pushed me!!"
12 year old Beckie Williams laughed and helped a 13 yr old Andrew out of the pool.
"You know Andrew-
WAKE UP!

Andrew woke up to Issac's screaming.
A horrific scene greeted Andrew as he woke up.
Issac was holding off a zombie as it tried to take a chunk out of his face.
"GET THE GUN!!"
Issac screamed motioning with his free arm torwards his fallen sidearm, it was within Andrew's grasp if he reached through the bars.

Andrew picked up the gun, a 9mm Beretta. Andrew checked the safety, cocked the gun, took aim...

The deranged man tore at Issacs clothing trying in vain to get past the barricade of it's prey's arms.

*CRACK-CRACK-CRACK!!!*
Three shots, two hits, one head shot. Not bad.
Andrew smiled as the zombie fell.
Issac looked at his savior, dressed in fatigues, stained with blood, a shadow seemed to cover his face.

"Thank-thanks."
Issac walked over to the bars and pulled the cell keys from his belt, were they had been hanging.
He unlocked the cell.
"They are everywhere, we have to get out of here."
"Were is Reynolds?"
"The Medic?"
"Yeah."
"Uh she's with Darron"
"And he is..."
"He left to the top of the mall with the others and left in the chopper"
"And you are here why?"
"I needed to shutoff the signal beacon."
"Did you?"
"Errmmm...heh...uh no."
"How do we turn it off?"

Suddenly a huge explosion sounded above them.

"Oh shit."
"What?"
"That was the tripmines we left to guard the generator"
Andrew was confused and speechless.
His life hadnt always been like this...there had been less...green..and teeth..and pain..
He didnt even feel it, but somehow the ground was hugging him.

Issac saw the soldier hit the ground.
(He must of fainted....)
Shit.
Issac acted quickley, he picked up the sidearm, grabbed the soldier and tried to sling him over his back, he was too heavy.
Grabbing the limp body under the armpits he dragged the unconcious soldier back into the Electronics store next door.
Setting the soldier on the counter, he managed to pull the metal doors closed, originally they had been designed after hours to stop thieves, they stopped the infected just as well.
Issac walked the halls of the shop, he didnt find anything out of the ordinary (Zombies?)

He was walking down the Computor games section when a computor cought his eye it had a game paused. He checked the box next to the computor.
Brainbread 6.0: the definative Zombie experiance! Kill zombies, fight with your fellow survivors to withstand the hordes!

Issac grinned, he couldnt help it. He checked the beretta clip, 5 shots left, he could hear the zombies moaning. 2 shots would be more then enough
*Ka-chink.*
*CRACK-CRACK-CRACK!!*
He walked past the smoking computor screen.

This post has been edited by OneoftheLost on March 31, 2005 09:04 pm