oh, and my favorite character is Nick

ok ok ok Ill continue it, jsut for u buddy! (and any one else who is a fan)

YAY, thnx, boy u responded fast

Tim, Brad And Liz stodd over the edge whatching in horror.

Brad: "GEt the Fucking gun"

Tim: "To risky, Might hit him"

Nick: "Turn AWay!"

Nick was struggling with the zombie, he reached into his holster and could only point his gun up at his head.

Liz: "NO Nick DONT DO IT!!!!!!!"

Nick: "TURN AWAY!"

Everyone turned thier heads, a quick BOOM and then a splash of blood on the roof. Tim starred over the edge laughing. Nick had shot the zombie up threw the head. Nick was triwling his psitol around on his finger like a cowboy.

Tim: "SHIT NICK WHATCH OUT!"

Nick dropped his pistol, ripped the shotgun off his back and turned around, a loud BANG then turning around and then another loud BANG. And Nick was laughing triwling his sawed-off shotguna round, then holding it up and say "SEe this, this is MY boomstick Mutha Fuckas!"

All the zombies were cleared, they rienforce the rectangle and went to sleep, they had a long day ahead of them.

u scared me, i thought he was dead

Check out meh other stories, The Reckoning of the dead, and Operation:darklord

I wont continue ROTD untill i finish COTD

Everyone was getting ready for bed.

Brad: "Ya Know I think we should get to know each other it might help"

Tim: "I'm just a cop, grew up in Mississippi, nothin special."

Nick: " Well, Im brad and Liz's friend from school, if your wonda in' why im such a good shot it because, well, my dad was divorced, then got married to my mom. His old wife was one of those Homicidal Cult Hippies. One day the police cracked him and he spilled were they were. The police raided the place. My dad was afraid that a member might try and kill one of us so, he taught me how to sharp shoot when I was 6, then just taught me until well today."

Liz: "well, really ain't much to say about me, I lived a boring life, dont get me wrong I would trade anything to turn things back to normal. I would just come in here everyday hang out with Nick and Brad. Although my dad was friends with Nick's Dad so he gave me some lesson's just a little bit though, don't really think it'll make a di-"

She was cut off by a skidding sound out side. Nick and Tim grabbed their rifles, followed by Brad Holding a Revolver and Liz a walther P98. They ran to the roof, panting with each step of the stairs. When they got to the top, they saw a huge 16 wheeler driving towards, the S-Mart. Liz picked up some paper and Painted "GO 'ROUND BACK" on it and held it up. The truck skidded over to the side, and then pulled behind the S-mart.

Nick: "BACK UP INTO THE LOADING GATE WHEN IT"S OPEN"

Nick: "Tim, cover me Brother"

Tim: "Count on it"

Tim shouldered his rifle, and fired at the up-coming horde. Getting head shot left and right. Nick jumped down the stairs, then only to come running back up them.

Nick: "Brad You Asshole, You have the keys, hurry!"

Brad: "s-s-Sorry Man"

Nick and brad flew down the stairs, Kicked open the door to storage area, only to find a Zombie employee, Nick silenced him with a boom to the head with his Shotgun. They ran to the big garage door.

Nick: "Hurry The Fuck Up!!!!!"

Brad: "Im Trying Im Trying!"

Brad stumble with the Keys, then final opened the door. It sprang to life a raised on it own.

Nick: "Get ready to Shut It"

Brad Nodded, Nick ran out the door, Shooting the zombies too close to him. HE ran to the 16-wheeler truck's driver's window. There was a Man in a hunting outfit driving, shooting at zombies with a hunting rifle.

Nick: "PULL BACK INTO THE LOADING DOOR!!!!!"

The man gave a quick Thumbs up and started driving in. Nick was sweating like a wild boar, Tim was picking off Zombies, but it wouldn't be enough to hold them off until the truck got in. He Fired to two shells in his shotgun and threw it to Brad. Then throwing a couple shells. Nick pulled two Extended clip, laser scoped, Desert eagles out of their holsters.

Nick: "Hey You Crazy Cock Sucks Lets go!"

The Zombies seem to have heard him, Nick standing there popping headshots, then Clank! The truck was safely locked down.

Nick starred into the approaching horde.

Nick: "Fuck-a-doodle-do"

Nick had about 4 rounds in each gun to his count. He ran over to the truck. Hoped on the hood of the car. Then on the roof of the cab, then jumped to the roof of the storage bin. HE ran as fast as he could. But know the Zombies were coming up the truck! HE turned to Tim.

Nick: "Hey Tim, Go get me a ChainSaw, hurry"

Nick stood inpaitontly, waiting for the zombie to get on the roof of the cab. One Finally managed it, and was running it Nick, he quickly stopped it with a headshot.

Tim: "Nick! Catch!"

Nick Turned around and Tim threw him a chainsaw. Nick caught it and started it up, slipping the guns back in thier holsters. He started climbing down the Truck, sawing zombies in half. HE opened the driver's door and got in. He wheeled up the widnows and panted for a secound. Jsut then a Zombie's face smeared on the glass, covered in blood and gore. Nick looked for keys, but only to find none.

Nick: "Fuck, I hope I Remember how to do this shit"

Nick kicked open the place under the sterring wheel, the egine sprang to life after Nick played with some wires. He realized there was a bottle of gas sitting next to him. He drove in a circle confusing the undead. Then headed away from the S-Mart. He jumped out of the car door. The car crashed into a tree and blew up. Nick was still luging as chainsaw. He ran as fast as head could. He now was about 10 yrds away from the S-mart. The Crowds of undead heading towards him were hissing and moaning.

Nick: "Fuck Me"

Then he looked to his left to find another crowed of undead stumbling towards him.

Nick: "Fuck Me Sideways!"

Okay, your story is allright, but it has way too many cliches in it and the setting has been used too often, additionally some scenes are taken directly from films.
Also flaming people for writing a well written informed post containing constructive criticism are not to be flamed.
If you are only writing to get feedback/praise/attention, then you shouldn't write.
If this is not the case then please write more,as it is very hard to evaluate someone's writing skils after perhaps one part of a story(one post).
You should also really chech youre spelling,as it gives off an unintelligent impression if you have a lot of grammar/spelling mistakes.
This is all consrtuctive criticism.

Apart from that nice writing.

good, but hes right, u have alot of errors in parts, tahts the only bad part i think, and i guess when hes talkin bout from other movies mebe the car thing from night of living dead, i dunno but its still pretty good

dude, CArs do explode, just cuase it happened in a movie doesn't mean i took it from the movie..........

Thanks for Constructive Critismism,

And Jouni WTF?

I run ther last chapter through Word real fast, should fix it up, then ill edit it, ill do that now on before i post...

edited

edited

edited

Some day, when I grow up, i wanna be like TheBlazeUk or Lordofthepings, giving real feedback saying exactly what to improve.
One thing that's been annoying me lately: you KNOW something. You do something right NOW. Thats one bugger of a typo that a lot of people get.
And all the swearing is getting pretty boring. They say FUCK each other sentence.
If this is rude, sorry.