i didn't understand? to much F-bombs?

Last F-Bomb is repetitive, and in a really wierd place. When I read it I'm like "Huh?" I find it hard to believe anyone would speak like that, even in this stressful situation.

OK

Actually, I dont think its the number of time you use fuck thats the problem, its the "You like to kill 6-year-fucking-olds?"". The 6-year is doing what to the old?
"You like to kill fucking 6-year olds" is much better.

Which when I look is exactly what Dragontail said...

I wanted to post again to say that that scene is very intense/horrifying/gripping. It was ballsy of you to write it. I enjoyed it.

Where's the rest?

As Tucker had his last spasim of life, Tim's gun was in his hand, the barrel red hot and smoking. "What am a going to do? Arest myself?"

*********
As Liz lay in her makeshif, bed starring at the ceiling, she was finally just losing it. She heard Nick and Brad whispering out side the door, they didn't trust any of the people that came in with that truck.

The door flew open.

Nick walked in, he was carring for duffle bags; two over his shoulder and two he was holding, he had a huge back pack on his back, and about 2 thigh packs on. "Come, on we are getting out of here." Nick said as he walked into the room, followed by Tim and Brad who where lugging the same amount of supplies. Brad, who was the weakest, couldn't stop his legs from tembling. Nick put down his stuff, and took keys out of his pocket. "Everyone, needs to get everything they can onto the roof in three minutes" They all walked out of the room. Liz slipt up and started to get the food. Brad, Nick, and tim where never close to eachother. "Tim, you know what you need to do. Brad start bringing the stuff up to the roof." Nick and Brad carried all the gear they could in one trip. Brad went down for more, but Nick made sure that the rope on the roof was secure. He then walked to the heater vent, and took out a dripping, smelling bag, he took rotting meat out of the bag. He had brought a rain coat up, and he started to smear the rotting meat all over the coat, then put it on. He then reppeled, he couldn't lose it.... yet, when he reached the gravel, he made sure the fence was secure, and that the nearest zombie was 50 yards away. A couple of hours ago some men on drit bike rode by and that drew the zombie farther away. HE climbed the fence, and began to run to the garage, which was about 20 yards away from the store. Half way there he heard a moan. He stopped dead in his tracks. In his coat pocket alll he had was a bowie knife. He heard the moan again. He did a sort of zombie-ish turn around. He looked up from under his hood, and looked at the zombie. He starred at its face. His eyes got wide, and he had a burning scensation in his throat. HE felt like he was about to scream and weep for the first time in his life. He put his head to the side, then looked at its face once more, his mother.

MORE ZOMBIE STORY NOW!!! *best ive ever seen*

no more Feedback?

hmm hes gonna either die or beat the crap outta a heap of zombies

Nick stood threre for waht seemed liek hours as his mother got closer. His hand on the handle of his knife as his zombie mother came closer. She lifted up her arms and put them on his shoulder, and was close enough to smell him threw the rotting flesh. She leaned her head back and got ready to bite. Nick flashed, wipping out his kinfe, and kicking her to the ground at the same time. When she hit the ground he rammed his boot into her neck, her head snapped off. He then, in disgust, threw his knife at her head, it entered her skull right between the eyes and he didn't want to get his knife back.
*******
Brad Had finsihed Bring all the gear up and now was getting extra gas cans and making moltivtov cocktails, and baseball bombs. And Rounding up all the ammo he could find.
*******
Tim had the hardest job. He had to kill the bitten. He had a crowbar, a silenced pistol, a baseball bat, and 2 knifes; one small and one big. He siletenty opened the door to a room that they had built, his first vitim, a 4 year old boy and 10 year old girl, where sleeping quitely.

hey, i stopped reading like after the truck came and just decided i come look just for this 1 cus i was thinkin bout mods and i thought id be seein the end, u look like u r so close man come on so come on and finish it, lol, btw im suprised u stoped for so long and started again but its a great story.....so far

gngnhhh.... Must feed hunger... for... MORE STORY!!!

9.5/10 Nick curses too much lol

come on come on, wheres the end!!!!!!??????