Genesis, Death does not wait for it's victims... |
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Genesis, Death does not wait for it's victims...| Elite viking |
Posted: February 24, 2005 04:21 pm
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 Veteran Lord Carnage  Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004  |
LoL, now I get it
 I like your style, you are doing great making the story act around the maps, but feel free to put in your own parts |
 
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| Till Death Do us Part |
Posted: February 24, 2005 07:19 pm
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 Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 310 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
So, you say you like my style, eh? I didn't even know I had one. I mean, I know how ever writie/typer has their own way of doing things, but really, mine seems pretty basic. I think so, anyway. I mean, most of my story had been carried by dialogue, as Blaze said earlier. If you could tell me, what exactly IS my style? I just don't think I see what your seeing, but from a writers point of view, that's a good thing. I'd just like to know what you mean. -------------------- |
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| Joe Purple |
Posted: February 24, 2005 10:00 pm
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Just another Survivor Group: Members Posts: 28 Joined: January 23, 2005 |
I'm loving this. Just happens that the town has an 8 foot tall man named Fred, who's killed, even though he's 8 feet tall and could swat zombies like flies. Funny.
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| Till Death Do us Part |
Posted: February 24, 2005 11:37 pm
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Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 310 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
Ummm...what is that? Sarcasm? I'm hoping you've played the game before coming here, but for you, I'll tell you. Fred is a mutated zombie that makes frequent appearances in the game itself. So I incorporated him into the story. He became tall after the mutation, and besides, It's my story. I can make the other zombies afraid if I want. This post has been edited by Till Death Do us Part on February 24, 2005 11:37 pm -------------------- |
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| Elite viking |
Posted: February 24, 2005 11:42 pm
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Veteran Lord Carnage Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 |
Well...
Your style is a realistic one, with lots of dialogue, soldiers who are calm, panicking civillians, that sort of thing. It's also detailed, and particularly I liked the swap betwen characters. Hasvte seems to be the one the focus is on, but that swap into what Fred was 'thinking' about the situation made it much better to read. Keep it up  |
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| Joe Purple |
Posted: February 25, 2005 12:18 am
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Just another Survivor Group: Members Posts: 28 Joined: January 23, 2005 |
Never played BB before, I'm a Zombie Panic player. Sorry for sounding sarcastic, I really thought it was funny that there was an 8 foot tall guy in the town.
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| Till Death Do us Part |
Posted: February 25, 2005 01:33 pm
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Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 310 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
Oooo, boy.....I think he may be trying to start a war. Anyone wanna handle this? I'm always too agressive when it comes to these sorts of things.
Edit: And by the way, Purple, I'm obviously not going to take any "critisicm" however sarcastic it may be, from a person who has never played the game. In the words of Immoral Sniper... "Have a wonderful week." This post has been edited by Till Death Do us Part on February 25, 2005 01:39 pm -------------------- |
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| Elite viking |
Posted: February 25, 2005 01:41 pm
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Veteran Lord Carnage Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 |
oh em effing gee
A little tip: Some people are a little jumpy around here about the ZP:BB tension. So, it is kinda smart to play BB a little before commenting anything that's 'funny'. Fred is BB's boss. He's big, he's dumb and he doesn't go that very easy. I jope you start playing BB too, Joe. It'd be nice to have you on the 'team'. |
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| Till Death Do us Part |
Posted: February 25, 2005 01:42 pm
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Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 310 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
Choice words, choice words...I would have used a few more "choice" words, but like I said...I'm agressive...so thank you for handling it  This post has been edited by Till Death Do us Part on February 25, 2005 01:42 pm -------------------- |
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| Joe Purple |
Posted: February 25, 2005 02:09 pm
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Just another Survivor Group: Members Posts: 28 Joined: January 23, 2005 |
I'm really sorry for sounding ignorant and sarcastic. I come to these boards for the great fan fictions and zombie stories.
and even if I had played BB, a giant zombie named Fred is still hilarious. |
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| Till Death Do us Part |
Posted: February 25, 2005 02:23 pm
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Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 310 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
Hasvte unhooked his walkie again. He brought it up to his ear. He was sweating profusely now, hopefully from the battle he had just survived. He remembered the onset of the mimes symptoms
This is EVAC Team Juliet. En route to your position. Arrival at 1700 hours. Hold your position until our arrival or until further orders. Roger that, Juliet. Charlie, out. He switched it off, and clipped it to his belt again. Out of the 20 something civilians that had been rounded up, only 13 remained. 2 marines were remaining, along with Kason and Hasvte himself. So that made it 4 marines altogether. Hasvte allowed himself a moment of rest. He was interrupted by a low howl in the distance. He ignored it, and continued to drift off. However, he was again interrupted, but this time by a fellow squadmate. Kason was tending to the needs of the civilians. Holy shit! Sir, I have multiple contacts closing on our position! 2, 3Im getting 400 different readings! Distance? Hasvte took out his magazine, checked how much was left, and clicked it back into his AK. Most of them are far off, but we have about 100 of them closing from 45 metersDamn, they are really slow Hasvte looked at his AK magazine again, then checked his ammo pouch. He looked at the ammo pouch hooked onto Kasons belt, and saw that it was almost empty. Hehnot enough ammo He chuckled to himself, and got up. Alright, were setting up base camp right here. Kason, Hallerton He nodded towards his last remaining marines. You two stay here. I do, however, want two civilian volunteers to come with me. Were going to look for food and water. He looked at the rag-tag group in front of him. No one raised their hands or stood up. IllIll come with you A stout man, with a moustache and beard stood up. He gripped his AK tighter, but he said it again: Ill come. Hasvte nodded, and looked for another volunteer. No one else? Another person stood up. Ill comebut I have a quick question He didnt look at Hasvte, but timidly stared at his feet. What is it? Why dont you take your marines along with you? Oh, what a great idea! Leave you untrained civilians with just a little bit of ammo, so me and my buds can go look for food! God forbid if anything would happen to find you! Hasvte said all of it coolly, and the civilian sat back down, discouraged to go. Ill come with you. A woman stood up. Hasvte was taken aback, but quickly regained his composure when he saw she had an M16 gripped tightly in her hands. Right, you two will do. Come, on then. They left, heading east from their makeshift base camp. Kason watched the disappear, and answered the pleas for water from the civilians. He unclipped his canteen. --------- The moaning wouldnt stop. They were still a ways off from the closet food source, which was a supermarket, abandoned since the outbreak occurred. However, there was the chance the most of the food was blood splattered, also. Hasvte decided to deal with that when and if it happened. Ummistermarinesir? Hasvte turned around, and took notice of the stammering man. What is it now? Hasvte turned back around, still walking. But he could only hear his footsteps. He looked back again, and saw that both the man and the woman had stopped. I said, what is it? Hasvte was beginning to get annoyed. His face started to turn red. The man, who was now violently shivering, pointed to a ledge that was higher up. Hasvte looked, and saw a disturbing sight. 2 zombies were watching them, each of them crouched on all fours. When they noticed that they were spotted, the quarreled amongst themselves, biting and hitting, then scampered away, still on all fours. What disturbed Hasvte the most was the speed at which they did so. He put the butt of his gun against his shoulder, but remained calm. Rightlets keep going, and hold your rifles like I am. The civilians glanced at him, and did as he instructed. --------- Holy shit The other marine besides Kason, Hallerton, began to sweat. Kason took a swig from his canteen and clipped it onto his belt again. Whatsa matter? I have the Lieutenants position on my trackerhe has at least 45 readings around him, but none of them are moving towards himtheyre movingtowards the northeastwhoa What now? 2 of the enemy reading just disappeared, but so did another reading, but I dont know what the third one was Hallerton licked his lips, and decided to give a little call to Hasvte. --------- KsssssLieutenant. Come in. Hasvte here. Whats up? Youre surrounded by the zombiesbut none of them are moving towards you. Theyre just standing there sir. Hasvte lost his cool. Are these things actually thinking? All they should be thinking about is feedingare they actually forminga strategy? Whats their average distance? About 35 meters all around you. ButI have a request. Go ahead. About 3 minutes ago, 2 of the enemy contacts disappeared on my tracker. However, a third, unknown contact also disappeared. Im guessing it was another human. Could you check it out? Hasvte sighed, and looked at the civilians behind him. They were still holding onto their rifles, eyes darting every which way. What are the coordinates? Its very close sirabout 23 meters southwest. Over the walkie, Hasvte could tell that Hallerton was breathing heavily. Right. Well check it out. One more thing sir What? These zombies? I thinkI think theyre regrouping ------- OMG...smart zombies! Say it ain't so! -------------------- |
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| Elite viking |
Posted: February 25, 2005 02:48 pm
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Veteran Lord Carnage Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 |
Hey, I couldn't scare him away could I? That never helps. Besides, he could have summoned other ZP fans to flame me
 Great installment as usual Tell me if you're interested in a role in my story! |
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| Nikku |
Posted: February 25, 2005 03:07 pm
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 Mr. Coke Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 3114 Joined: December 12, 2004 |
good story, Viking MAKE UR STORY!
-------------------- Only when you gick, will you truly fish...
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| Till Death Do us Part |
Posted: February 25, 2005 07:00 pm
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Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 310 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
Well, I'd be honored! I was reading you story, and thought it'd be cool, but i noticed how you said there were limited spots nad I thought I would be a bit late. but sure, here's a lowdown on my personal character:Name: (To anyone other than the people he trusts) Taciturn (To those few that he does trust) Malachi Catch phrase: "Aw, you know...only till death does us part..." Short, around 5'4"-5'6" Brown hair, Sort of a stiff buzz cut, hazel eyes Cynical, Distrusting, takes quite a while to gain my trust Occupation: Hitman (only kills for money, not a serial killer who would kill everyone in your story just for the hell of it...maybe for money, but not for fun  )Weapon o' choice: (If I have to choose from the weapons in-game) Winchester Rifle (If I can choose from any real world weapon I want) MP5k a.k.a. MP5 Kruger (pretty kick ass. look at the images on google. Glee!  )A cynical underworld gun for hire, he has now become extremely distrusting due to the fact that anyone could be infected. He prefers long range engagements with his modified MP5K. A laser sight and high powered scope give him lethal capabilities. If you need anything else, I'll edit or PM you. Thanks...I was actually going to give you a small cameo in my story, since you seem to be my FIRST loyal reader...and by loyal, I mean you keep coming back Edit: Almost forgot! My "uniform" is a simple Suit, covered by a leather trench coat. Lots, lots, LOTS of pockets. For ammo, This post has been edited by Till Death Do us Part on February 25, 2005 07:13 pm -------------------- |
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| Elite viking |
Posted: February 25, 2005 07:05 pm
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Veteran Lord Carnage Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 |
Hey, I have to encourage good writers!:)
This post has been edited by Elite viking on March 03, 2005 03:25 pm |
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