Mark looked at the skinny woman in front of him. Short black hair, Blue eyes, and pink lipstick, to his opion she wasnt that bad. He thought she must have been from out of town. If you live in a 190 person town in the middle of Jack-shit Utah then well... you know everyone. She was buying a Diet coke, some low-fat funions and some spearmint bubble gum.

"Yes ma'am that will be 4.10 please." Siad Mark as he pulled the hit the 'enter' button on the cash register.
Skhhhhskhhh...kksssssssss..
-Damnit, damnit all to hell- thought Mark as he tried to rip out the reseat from the cash register, it often got jammed.
The woman handed him the money, exact change. And Mark handed her the reseat that was torn to shreads, hanging together by a small line of untouch paper on the top.
"Um, thanks.... can I use your bathroom?" Siad the Woman as she starred at the reseat and then threw it in the trash.

Mark went under the counter and plopped a small key.....tied to a gaint watering can.
"Left side of the store, should have 'Poop Room' written on it in red spray paint" Siad Mark. The woman sighed and walked out the door of the gas station/7-11 type thing. The wind chim chimmed and she turned the corner and walked out of sight, towards the left of the store.

"Damn....... Look at that piece of ass" Said Mark's best friend Andy as he came out of one of the 5 iles.

"Man shut up here she comes back." Said Mark as he played with a Zippo lighter.

The woman walked threw the door, red stains on her pants, in the grion area, red fluid on her face and her hands, and some dripping from her ear and mouth.

"Holy fuck! She had a Huge Period!" screamed Andy as he pointed at her.

"Miss? Are you ok?" Said Mark as he jumped over the counter and walked up to her.
She groaned and moaned, reaching towards something in front of her. And her mouth open, blood blubbles forming inside.

"Andy, call the hospital" Mark turned around and looked at Andy who jsut slammed the phone down.

"Line Dead!" Screamed Andy as he took out his cell phone and called 911, "Statlite down!" He screamed.

The woman grabbed Mark by the shoulders and leaned forward Mouth open wied, teeth ready to clamp, and chew his tender flesh......

This post has been edited by Nikku on March 24, 2005 05:04 pm

omg! what's gonna happen next? find out...when Nikku posts next...
cool start

Despite some spelling and punctuation errors ("MAn", "holy Fuck", "ANdy", "isles", few others), its nice to see that your writing has matured.

I must criticize the fact that your previous stories carried with them a certain... youthful naivety to them. The rather immature dialogue, some elements sacrificed for action, etc.

But, I only point out those things as it is evident that you have improved immensley, and taken more time with this story.

Good job, I look forward to reading more of this!

when you siad that diaolge and sarafices for action was that this story or other stories?

thanks i wil run it through word next time and i will run the first chapter also when i am back from the bathroom