When You're Starring down the Barrel of a .45.....

I looked down threw the long dark metal that was the barrel of my colt .45. I jsut stood there looking and starring, I heard the banging at the door, and a sharp pain in my amr where i was bit. I looked farther down the barrel i could see the hammer. I cocked the hammer back and closed my eyes. I rember how i got here in the first place.......
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Please some FEED BACK!

feed my back,
FEED BACK!

this is stupid and where is the othwer half of story dude seriously this si just random

David: I think this a taste of his story?

Nikku: So far you have gotten off to a great start. I love it when you said he was "staring down the barrel" and how you described the pain his bite, Please continue it!

yes this was jsut a stort of "teaser" more on the way, thanks grey snake


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Is it even worth Fighting for? (flash back)
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I looked at the door to see a sign that read "Albert Smith". I hated my boss, I hated my job, I hated my life. Everyone at the office knew that when you're called to his office, You're Fucked. I reached out my arm and felt the cold, bronze metal on the door knob. I chill was sent up my spine, I shook it off, and turned the knob. I pushed the door open and walked through, there sitting at his desk was Albert. His obeese body, too small suit, triple chin, and fat ass sitting in a chai which looked liek the chair was about to give up and just let the douche bag fall. Out of "Albert The hutt" came a high pipsquikish voice " Hello, Erik"
I jsut said back to him "Hello Mr. SMith."


Albert: "Well, YOu know why you are hear, right?"

Me: "CAn't say that i do"

Albert: "You are fired...."

Me: " MIT techneitions are few and far between nowadays, think about what you are
dong....."

Albert: "Security, Get this man out of my sight!"

Me: " ahh, fuck"

I felt a cloth go over my mouth, I started feeling dizzy. With the energy I had left I sent my elbow into the Guards Solarplex. I heard a faint Grunt Then I was out cold..............................

Nice lOl love how the main charector thinks and speaks like a true bad-ass. nice anyway keep it up

lol Kansas anyways good! Keep it up.

Awaken my Children.... (part Duex!)
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I saw them dragin out the body of the stunned man. Tex stood up and looked at me, i was on the top bunk him on the bottom. I think you are going to need this. Tex layied a piece of metal at my feet. I used all my energy to reach at it. I finally got it, it was blunt on one side, but sharp and curved on the other. I played The Cronicals of Riddick, Escape from Butcher ABy enough times to know what this was...... a shiv. Tex then tossed a thick cloth to me, i wrapped it around my shiv and shoved it in my pocket.

Me: "Soo uh, Ja- I mean tex, Why they call you that?"

Tex: "Ahh, can't you relize my acent."

Sounds kind of stupid, but i didn't, it was a thick southern acent. Sound like some fucking cowboy. Another guard came in the cell block and shot me with a dart, guess he didn't want me to be awake anymore. I got pased out cold, once again and didn't even try to fight it, I jsut slept.
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[Note: I know it might be not, Zombies! yet, but i eman every great story needs some background information.....]

It's good, but please remember two very important things: Spelling and Grammar.
Even if you are not a native english speaker, you can always run your story through a spelling check on the internet, or on microsoft word.
Good stuff keep on writing, but don't lose your momentum, the first part was really good the second part was good, but it sort of ran out of breath towards the end, add lots of detail; people love detail.

unique

ok will do... and foxtroot does that mean its good!?

Awaken My children (Part three!)

When I woke up I saw Tex, up close for the first time. He was Tall and stocky, with a goatee and a shaved head. He was standing over my bunk when i woke up. I could hear the faint screams of other prisoners. I moved my head around to look at the cell. It was one of those new cells. It was actually pretty nice, a bunk bed, next to the bottom bunk was a desk, and on the desk was a small TV, I didn't know if it Had color or not. The walls were painted white, with scratch marks. I sat up in my bed, and cracked my knuckles. I jumped down off of the bed, and looked at the cells, once again. I was almost inspecting the cell, when I saw a board on the bottom of my bed was sticking out. I played around with it a little, making an occasional, CREEEEEK sound. Then I pulled on the board a little and a small black garbage bag fell off of it. I went over to Tex, who was writing a letter.

Me: "Yo, this yours?"

I held out the bag, Tex turned around and shook his head. I went back on my bed and poured out the bag. In the bag was a razor, toothbrush, a lighter, about 5 packs of cig, and 6 candy bars. I almost shat my pants when I saw the candy bars. I picked one up and hugged it, reading the letters HERSHEY on the front in silver. I opened it just a little to see a brown solid substance, mmmmmmmmm chocolate. I cracked of 2 of the squares; I ate one as slow as I could savoring every little bit of it. I then handed Tex a piece he did the same.


Another guard came in and dragged out a prisoner. Then 16 people in Kevlar vests, tactical gear, and MP5SD's came in. They screamed in a voice, all prisoners, and report to the Court Yard. The court Yard sounded like a fuckin' hotel or something. Tex actually had a look of fear in his eyes. I didn't bother to talk to him; I thought it might just get him more upset. We were hoarded like cattle into a Court Yardish room. There was blood red sand, and the sun shined down on us, because there was no roof. About 300 prisoners stood there. The guards were leading a man in cuffs over to a chair in the center of the yard. I whispered to Tex.

Me: "Who is that?"

Tex: "That is John Gonzalez, he murdered 25 people."

The guards strapped John down on the chair. They then got a knife and made cuts in his head, not deep just skin deep, not enough to kill him. They squeezed a lemon over the cuts. They slid a silver helmet on the man. I doctor came out, with a priest. The priest made the cross symbol over John. The doctor then tied a rubber thing over John's arm. After 5 minutes, the red and blue veins were clearly visible. The doctor took the biggest needle I have ever seen; it had green fluid in it. He shoved the needle into John and injected it. A painful look went on Johns face. Then his Head shot up and looked at the sky. Then his head relaxed and looked to the floor. The doctor put 2 fingers on John's Neck, and then nodded. He stared walking away when John's head shot up, with a Red glare in his eye, hissing and snarling. Then straps broke and John was free. He lunged to the doctor. The doctor let out a scream, that all he could do because John was eating the doctor's head. Tex was staring in silence, everyone was. Then a guard let out a short burst with his MP5SD. It hit john right in the heart. But john just got up and charged at the guard. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. Tex and I looked at each other. I motioned to Tex to follow me. We went up to the dead guard, and grabbed the keys he had; Tex grabbed the gun and any ammo he could find. We ran over to the door and unlocked it. The door was jammed but I forced it open, the former John was eating more people. We ran through the door and shut it. Other prisoners were trying to get in. We let a few in but, John was too close and started eating some of the ones close to the door. Tex through the door shut, I stumbled with the keys, and then locked the door. John was throwing his weight against the door, but then turned around and started eating more people.
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[Note: I ran it threw Mirco Soft Word!]

One word :NICE! like the prison setting,and its kewl that you added details! like the whole courtyard scene,personally I would have added a bit more tension as John is dead let them wait a couple of mins. then have him twitch a bit then get up and kill,kill,kill. Either way it worked for you so keep it up!!! great story,probably your best.

sexy, Yes I think this is my best sty so far, If i do say so Meself!!!!

GET away FROM ME CORN FLAKES!!!!
Have a Happy Halflife Christmas!