Emergancy responce - Part one |
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Emergancy responce - Part one| Elite viking |
Posted: February 14, 2005 10:58 pm
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 Veteran Lord Carnage  Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004  |
Great Great Great Great! Very good indeed =)
Only thing I dont think makes sense: The iron gate do the area, was kinda.....Ruined, you know. Fell over after a while. But the door with a lock, seems to handle its task. Nm, would be a pity if it broke... THere is no way out and all that ... |
 
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| Radman |
Posted: February 14, 2005 11:13 pm
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 Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 448 Joined: January 13, 2005 |
hahaha... you dont know the KILLER ending im going to include. -------------------- When theres no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth...
 'They say people dont believe in heroes anymore... Well im going to give them back their hero." |
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| Major Mike |
Posted: February 15, 2005 04:47 am
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Rotten Meat Group: Members Posts: 6 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
Another great installment.
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| It's me |
Posted: February 17, 2005 06:09 am
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 Just another Survivor Group: Members Posts: 35 Joined: January 23, 2005 |
Good, can't wait for the next chapter.
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| It's me |
Posted: February 25, 2005 03:32 am
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Just another Survivor Group: Members Posts: 35 Joined: January 23, 2005 |
bump
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| It's me |
Posted: March 02, 2005 01:18 am
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Just another Survivor Group: Members Posts: 35 Joined: January 23, 2005 |
bump
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| Radman |
Posted: March 02, 2005 04:41 pm
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Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 448 Joined: January 13, 2005 |
Oh ok ok... I'll begin writing the next part...
-------------------- When theres no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth...
'They say people dont believe in heroes anymore... Well im going to give them back their hero." |
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| SirAlucard |
Posted: March 02, 2005 05:05 pm
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 Uberzernichter Group: Members Posts: 954 Joined: November 21, 2004 |
This story rocks I like it so much good job on it
-------------------- im awesome bra'h
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| Elite viking |
Posted: March 02, 2005 08:58 pm
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Veteran Lord Carnage Group: Old BB:S Betatesters Posts: 2471 Joined: December 16, 2004 |
Please keep writing Radman! Or else I will kill you in my story
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| Till Death Do us Part |
Posted: March 04, 2005 02:14 pm
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 Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 310 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
Dude, this is kickass. A real pleasure to read. Please, go on. I'm waiting....
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| Radman |
Posted: March 04, 2005 03:22 pm
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Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 448 Joined: January 13, 2005 |
The stairwell was empty and cold, the sounds of the massing hoard below where enough to make any man shiver in fear. I clenched the cold steal of the MP5 and let out a breath of warm air, it immediately condensed as it left my mouth. I then walked towards the metal barrier, which surrounded the stairs, and peered over the edge. A flickering safety light was all that I could see, but the moans and screeches of the mob seemed to be getting louder.... I then heard a truly terrifying sound.... The sound of shuffling feet...
The creatures where making their way up the stairs.. It was the only explanation. I raced towards the double doors and kicked them open, all the while screaming for the others to get out of the apartment. Ian was the first out of the door he looked at me and immediately asked: "How many?!" "I dont know." Ian ran towards the doors I'd just came from, I turned and ran with him. He looked over the barrier before looking back at me with a expression of true horror. "We have to get to the roof... NOW..." I turned to see Dan and the others racing towards us. Ian was flagging us to head up the stairs, the sniper then stopped in her tracks as she reached the stairs and pulled out two small, round, green objects. "This'll hold the fuckers off" she then dropped them both down the stairwell and hit floor screaming: "GRENADE!!!" A few seconds later the building shook with the roar of the explosion, I was immediately knocked onto my back by the sheer force, small pieces of concrete and dust began to rain down on us. My ears where ringing but I managed to pull myself up and continued to follow Pete up the dark, menacing stairs.... . This post has been edited by Radman on March 04, 2005 07:38 pm -------------------- When theres no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth...
'They say people dont believe in heroes anymore... Well im going to give them back their hero." |
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| Till Death Do us Part |
Posted: March 04, 2005 07:06 pm
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Real zombie Nemesis Group: Members Posts: 310 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
Nothing there except a few typos! Great job! I don't know how to explain it, but while reading that short chapter, I just had the sense that I was there. Like i said, i don't know how to explain...but, damn. It was an awesome feeling.
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| It's me |
Posted: March 05, 2005 10:34 am
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Just another Survivor Group: Members Posts: 35 Joined: January 23, 2005 |
Me too, keep it up Radman.
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| Major Mike |
Posted: March 09, 2005 03:46 am
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Rotten Meat Group: Members Posts: 6 Joined: February 10, 2005 |
Great job again.
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| TheBlazeUK |
Posted: March 10, 2005 12:34 am
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 Real zombie Nemesis  Group: BB Betatesters Posts: 398 Joined: December 13, 2004 |
It was great. But in the spirit of adding a little more other than just praise, I thought that
"It was the only explanation" is a little redundant. Oh, and were not where but I guess you didnt do that intentionally. Keep it coming though! and don't let your characters get to a safe place for as long as possible - I let my guy make it to safety and now I'm struggling to get the zombies back in to the story and end the world. (don't worry, I know how I'm going to do it, its just pissing me off having to write the parts in between.) -------------------- Like zombies? read comics? read The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman, from Image
No Cable TV No grocery stores No government In a world ruled by the dead, we are forced to start living Documents of the dead - newspapers etc from the fall of the earth. The Living and The Dead My zombie horror story. Feel free to leave feedback. |
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