100 miles and closing still. You need to hurry up, Hasvte. The creatures were still swarming for this new meal, but the marines were still denying them with a hail of bullets.
Roger, were moving to the next location. We still have 3 more areas to cover.
Roger. Keep it up. Hasvte and his men were moving in a protective circle, with everyone facing the outside, looking in a different direction. Those that were reloading retreated back to the center of the circle, and came out again when their weapon was loaded.
Kason and Hallerton were on opposite sides of Hasvte, both of them determined not to let Hasvte die. For them, he had become a father figure, almost. Until this outbreak occurred, Kason was just a rookie with the usual dislike for his commanding officer, and Hallerton with a general dislike for the rookies. But now, with only the three of them left in their own squad, they had become a tight-knit family.
Hallerton let loose a burst of gunfire, and it punctured one of the creatures head. It burst like a melon, showering the suits with bone, rotting flesh and brains, and the dreaded blackened blood. Hallerton gritted his teeth as his adrenal stimulators kicked in again. His heart rate was climbing, and the suit administered an extremely small dose of tranquilizer.
Hasvte, Tusev again. The missile is 95 miles and closing, but the Elite Viking Squad is on an intercept course.
Copy, give me an---shit! A scream got through to the comm unit inside of Hasvtes helmet, and Tusev became alarmed.
What happened?! You alright?!
Im fine, we just had some indirect friendly fire! Im closing this channel, I cant concentrate with you interrupting me. If I want an update on anything, Ill hail you.
Roger, going cold. The channel closed. Apparently, a burst of 5.56 ammo had ricocheted
The man that the scream originated from was writhing on the ground. A hole in his suit was leaking blood, and his suits adrenal stimulators went off, giving his adrenaline glands a much bigger kick. He was still squirming on the ground, screaming.
Oh god! Oh, god,! Im infected! Someone shoot me! Please! Shoot me now! Hasvte walked over, and gave the marine a good smack with the butt of his gun. The marine fell silent.
Shut the hell up. Youre not infected, its a bullet wound. Get your ass to a field medic and patch up. Once youre done, get your ass back here and keep fighting. Hasvte looked at the wound. The bullet was lodged behind his knee. In order to give mobility to the user, the suit only covers the joints with a soft, almost plastic like cloth. It was somewhat easily penetrable, even more so by a bullet.
Sir! The marine hobbled off, still gripping his rifle and taking potshots at the approaching horde. Hasvte turned back to Kason, who was reloading. Kason looked up at Hasvte, and his eyes went wide. He pointed.
Sir, behind you! Hasvte spun around, only to see the wounded marine tackled to the ground. He was helpless as he watched the creature tear into the soft spots of the suit, the weak material that covered the joints. They were learning the weaknesses of the suits.
The creatures teeth sunk into the area between his shoulder and collarbone. The material gave way, and the marines flesh was ripped away by the maw of the zombie. He screamed, not only in pain, but also in recognization of what was going to happen to him, even if he lived.
Hasvte dropped to one knee, and his OICW barked as a round of 5.56 ammo left the barrel. The round penetrated the rotting flesh, and impacted the heart, or what was left of it. The bullet burst out of the other side, and continued on its path, shooting out into nothingness. The creature fell off, limp, but the marine stayed where he was, gripping his newly acquired wound, but he was not screaming. Hasvte approached him.
Shoot me. Please. I want you to kill me. Never before had Hasvte heard these words in such a serious tone. Never before had he killed one of his own men.
Please. Hasvte paid full attention to the dying man in front of him. He was totally oblivious to the chaos and mayhem around him, oblivious to the bullets whizzing by and the zombies dropping left around, oblivious to the moans and groans of pain from the things, oblivious to the shouts and requests from the other marines. All he wanted to do right now was to end this mans life. For the good of the other marines, and for the mans own good. Hasvte raised his rifle, and his suits HUD recognized the target as a friendly. A warning light went off.
Thank you. These were the marines last words before a bullet slammed into his head. It drilled though the helmet, and punched through his brain, where it became lodged. He died instantly, and his suit deactivated. Hasvte said a quick prayer, and grabbed the mans dogtags. A certain Zach Malerad.
Hasvte! Pay attention! Look out! Hasvte spun around once again to the cries of Kason, but saw only a blurred form rush towards him, teeth bared, the decayed flesh hanging from its bones. The teeth were bared, and the black blood oozed from the mouth of the thing. Before he could react, Hasvte was pinned to the ground.
No! Hasvte! Hallerton tried to get a bead on the creature, but could not risk firing without hitting Hasvte. Hasvte would have to do this on his own.
The creature tried biting into the suit, but could not. Some of its teeth fell out from the effort. It then spotted the weak spot on his arm, and paused. Hasvte thought he was going to die, and saw this as his last chance to fight back. His adrenal glands pumped and pumped, not because of the stimulation, but because of the situation that was unfolding. His newfound surge of strength was entirely his own. He grabbed his rifle.
A terrific blow impacted the creature in the side, and it fell off, squirming to regain balance. Hasvte jumped up, and leveled the barrel of his weapon to the creatures chest.
Dirty son of a bitch! He pulled the trigger, point blank. The zombie shook and convulsed with each bullet that ripped through its body. Black blood rushed out of the rounds and covered Hasvte. Hasvte was doused in blood. The blood of his enemy. The blood of mankinds enemy.
Hasvte! Hasvte, thats enough! Hasvte emptied his last bullet into the already dead creature, and reloaded. Satisfied and fulfilled on his power trip, he put his mind to the objective again. He looked out again into the zombie horde, and saw that he and his group were close to the next group of survivors.
Everyone! See that structure! Run there! Now! Hasvte sprinted off first, with Hallerton and Kason following close behind. The whole crowd of marines ran after them, taking potshots along the way at anything that got too close.
Help us! Up here! The survivors were jumping and waving, trying to get the attention of one of the marines, even though they knew they were already up there. Hasvte, Hallerton, and Kason got to the location first, and laid a covering fire for the team that was catching up. Hallertons adrenal stimulators were working overtime, and by god, he was pumped. Hasvte yelled to Kason, but Hallerton was too busy yelling obscenities and insults at the advancing hordes.
If I didnt know better, Id say his suit was pumping out testosterone, too!
Damn, you know it! Kason dropped an empty clip, and readied a 20mm HE round.
Fire in the hole! The grenade rocketed out of the launcher with a soothing toompth and sped towards one of the zombies. The grenade landed inside of its chest cavity and was stuck there.
Aw, cmon, youre joking! A few other zombies rushed past the one that now had a grenade sticking out of its chest. At that moment, a fantastic explosion ripped through the crowd of the undead, shredding whatever was left of them. The marine platoon opened up on the remaining creatures, and they all fell, whether by the bullet or the explosion, it didnt matter. They were dead. Rounds littered the park, smoking and still extremely hot.
Medic! Get up there and giveem a test!
Sir! A medic rushed forward, amidst the covering fire from his mates, and the survivors on top of the carnival game helped pull him up. As soon as he had his footing, he pulled out the testing equipment and got to work.
Hallerton! You alright? Hallerton! Kason was yelling at the top of his lungs, not in vain, but Hallerton was too tired to move. He squeezed out a response.
II cant..oh, godI cant move Inside his suit, his adrenal stimulators had gone offline, due to the enourmous amount of stress that was being put on them. His suit lit up with 2 warning lights, one signaling the inactivity of his adrenal glands and the other signaling an incoming target.
Hallerton! Hallerton was tackled to the ground, with a creature pinning him, trying to get at the weak spots. It howled, but Hallertons suit softened the noise, as the suit demed it too high in decibles to be heard and not damage the ears. Every other suit did the same.
No! get off him, you little fucker! Kason sprinted forward, just barely missing a bullet that whizzed pat his helmet. Kason raised his rifle and bashed the creature aside, smashing the skull in. It fell off, wobbled and regained its balance. But before it could, another blow landed on its collarbone. A sickening crack was the result, and bits of decayed bone sprayed up like dust. Hallerton watched as Kason bashed the thing again and again, finally putting a single round through its head.
Medic! Report The medic up top switched to a private channel, which was only available to medics and commanders. In this case, Hasvte.
Sirone of them is infected.
Shoot him! Hed thank you if he knew what was going to happen to him! And dont explain it, just do it, otherwise hell fight back!
Y-yes sir! Despite all of the gunfire and moans and groans, the sound of the Medic letting a single round go through a mans head, then the scream of someone else seemed to be louder than anything else. Hasvte opened the channel with Tusev.
Come to my position and get these survivors! And drop one for Hallerton too!
Whats wrong with him?
His adrenal stimulators shut off! Hes too tired!
Roger, moving in. The black osprey hovered above Hasvtes position, and 4 ropes dropped, a stretcher on each. The survivors were loaded up, all 3 of them, then Hallerton was put on one. He was fast asleep, and Hasvte gave his hlmet a quick pat before sending him up. Him and the survivors disappeared into the chopper.
Tusev, I want a missile update! Hasvte watched as one of the marines was killed, his helmet ripped off and his throat torn from his neck. Hasvte plugged 4 rounds into the zombie, which killed it. However, more soon came, and swarmed over the fresh kill. They began to eat. Hasvte gritted his teeth, and readied a 20mm round. The soft toompth resonated, and the explosive shell streaked towards the target. It struck a zombie in the skull, and the impact was hard enough to register for a contact-explosion. The blast ripped apart the swarming zombies, and vaporized the body of the dead marine.
Tusev! Hasvte hailed one of the choppers hovering over head.
Reading. Whats up?
I want an update on the missile!
50 miles and closing. Elite Viking Squadron is closing.
Shit. Alright, youre going to have to go against procedures. We have three more places to hit for suvivors. I want one of the choppers to pick up the people on the Ferris Wheel. Were running out of time, so have the co-pilot run the diagnostics on the people once their inside the chopper. If some are infectedpush them out.
Roger. Tusev closed the channel with Hasvte, and hailed the Immortal.
Sir?
I want you to pick up the people on the Ferris Wheel. Run the tests once theyre on board. If any are infected, push them out.
Roger, moving into position. The chopper moved over the Ferris Wheel, and droped rappels. People began to climb out of the booths, and started to climb. Hasvte watched for a moment, then began leading his squad to the next area. Only 2 more spots left.
Medic! Get to the next group! Were running out of time!
Yes sir! The medic dashed ahead, emptying his clip at passing creatures as they reached for him. He was deftly agile, and was able to outrun the faster ones with ease. He reached the next carnival game, and with a little help from his adrenal stimultors, he took a leap and grabbed hold of the edge, after which the survivors up top helped him. He ran his tests, and they were clean.
Clean sir! Evacem!
Roger, Tusev! We got another good batch! Come pickem up! A chopper moved over them, and rappels with stretchers dropped down. He survivors climbed on, and were pulled up.
Hasvte! Hurry up! The missile is 20 miles! I dont think the Elite Viking Squad is going to make it!
Godammit Tusev! I said I would ask for an update! Now Im all jumpy and worried! Hasvte signaled his squad, and they began moving to the last group. So far, 6 marines had been lost, 2 of which Hasvte had seen himself.
Medic! Next group, move along!
Roger! He dashed forward again, and barely missed one of the faster zombies. It grabbed him, but he spun around and put a burst into its heart, point blank. It fell, howling and screeching. The medic leaped again, and got on top of the building, running his tests on the survivors. They were clean also. A chopper moved overhead, and rappels dropped. The survivors were loaded up. That was all of them.
All survivors Evac-ed! Lets get out of here! Rappels from the empty choppers dropped, and the marines began climbing up. Hasvte and Kason provided covering fire.
Hasvte, cmon! 10 miles! Hasvte turned towards the horizon, and saw a streak of smoke, followed by a continuos burst of fire. It was the missile. Then, he saw another sight, one that was more welcome. It was 3 planes, the Elite Viking Squadron.
This is Elite Viking One, I have a tally-ho on the target. Arming LRAAM.
Cmon hurry up! Get up, get up, get up! Hasvte rushed Kason up the rappel and then followed behind him. The missile was now overhead.
Acquiring locklocked! Viking one, Fox two! Another, smaller missile burst forth from the F117 bomber-attacker, and raced towards the cruise missile.
Move Tusev! Lets get out of here!
All choppers, RTB! Lets get the hell out of here before were blown to hell!
Negative, sir! No need for the rush! Tusev loked out of the cockpit window, and saw the two missiles strike each other. A fantastic explosion followed, after which came a deathly silence, then a low rumbling which shok the plane. A bright flash overtook the sunlight, then died away. The shockwave came next, then faded. He missile was gone, and the Elite Viking Squadron streaked past the choppers in a bragging way.
Haha! Nice one Vikings! Dear christ, when we get back, Im getting you all as many beers as you want!
Roger that, Malachi! Well hold you to that! Were RTB!
Hahaha! Love you guys! See you soon! The voice crackled over, then Viking One spoke once more.
Who dares, wins!


-----------

Okay, I salvaged what I could. In your post, tell me one thing. Did you feel a sense of battlefield chaos? I was trying to achieve that feeling. Tell me if I did or didn't, and what I could do to improve it.

Nice battlefield effect
The whole combat thing was awesome,but you should perhaps change the loadout of the squad,as OICW's are really just too expensive for that ammount of Marine casualties
Perhaps a couple of shotguns would add some more spice to the combat, what with zombies being blown apart and all
All in all a good chapter.

That was one of the coolest episodes I've ever seen. I felt completely absorbed in it, I was in the battle you know? I've only had a feeling this good in perhaps three other books.
If you want a weapon to spice it all up, have a look at this one:

AA12 Automatic Shotgun


The AA12 Automatic Shotgun is a remarkable firearm. For use by Military Personal and Law Enforcement only, the AA12 is an Automatic Shotgun able to fire 360 rounds per minute.

Hm, it reminds me of the fictional (I think) Jackhammer autoshotguns from other pictures I've seen. What with the ammo drum and the Assault rifle design...It's just, when dealing with mainres, I never really thought of putting shotguns in their hands. It would seem to me that assault rifles are the mianstay, but you're both right, it would have been a nice spice.



Elite Viking: Books, you say? Glee!

This post has been edited by Till Death Do us Part on March 14, 2005 06:59 pm

As far as I know they actually exist
H&K made an automatic shotgun that had its production run cancelled, due to the fact
that it was too effective
And it was capable of firing mangum size shotgun shells

hey guys, just a heads-up. I'm not sure when I'll be able to post another part of the sotry, because I am currently working hard on a multiplayer gudie to KILLZONE so i can put it on gameFAQS.com along with my Natural Selection Guide. So, please don't be angry with me when and if it gets to be a while without another chapter. Thanks.

Look for another chapter coming soon. I'm still working on my KILLZONE guide, but I need a change of pace. Plus, spring break is coming, so it should definitely be up over the break.

Christ, sorry guys! I'll try and have the next part up this week! I was actually busy over break (why? Can't say :3). Look for it sometime in the next day or two.

Wicked story!1

NS guide, eh? I love that game, maybe more than Brain Bread!

2200 HOURS
95 MILES OFF NORTH CAROLINA COAST
LOS ANGELES CLASS ATTACK SUBMARINE
U.S.S. CHICAGO



/INCOMING TRASMISSION/--AUTHORIZING----CLEARED CHANNEL # 99
---DISPLAYING


SOURCE: CLASSIFIED
SUBJECT: NEW INFO---VIRUS IS EVOLVING
FROM: DREAMLAND INFECTIOUS AGENTS BIOPSY LVL4, EMPLYEE: CLASSIFIED
TO: ADMIRAL WALSON
FILE ATTACHMENT: NONE (VIRUS SCAN NON-APPLICABLE)
STATUS: STAND BY

DISPLAY.exec/MESSAGE/INCOMING(number11036)

Application executed. Displaying.


Admiral Walson,

We have startling new info on the development of this virus. Recently, the newest specimen wandered past the base perimeter, and was killed. This specimen was exponentially larger than others, and possessed unusual strength. Upon dissection, we have identified numerous factors that contribute to this super-zombie, dubbed SPZ01.

-The virus has begun to modify the medulla ablan gata, the part of the brain that controls tendencies such as anger, aggressiveness, docility, and others. The virus seems to have erased all others except for aggressiveness. Apparently, the lesser, smaller specimens seem to recognize this, and try to avoid SPZ01 at all costs. This has lead us to believe that the larger specimen attacks indiscriminately, and perhaps even hunts for the smaller specimens on a regular basis.

- The pituitary gland has been enlarged to ridiculous proportions, almost to the size of a football. This has lead to a huge increase in the flow of certain hormones, namely Testosterone, GH (Growth Hormone), ACTH (Adrenocorticotropic Hormone), and many others. All of these factor into the appearance and behavior of this new specimen.

- The enzymes inside of the stomach that break down food have been replaced with some sort of bacteria, much like those found in the stomach of Hyenas. This allows them to eat almost anything organic, however, we still have no idea why the virus prefers human flesh instead of more conventional foods. We are running tests to determine why it has a preference as I type this.

- The bones and skin have become much more resilient to abuse than the smaller specimens. Striking the skin with blunt objects produced no visible effects, and a bullet wound produced only minimal damage. The spine is now almost unbreakable, and no conventional means have been able to destroy it.

- Olfactory glands have been reduced in size, but we do not know why. Perhaps the virus uses the brain for sight more than smell. No virus recorded has ever been able to interfere with the sense of smell. Perhaps this one is no different from the others.

- Two mysterious glands have grown to a large size. These glands are located near the frontal lobes of the brain, near eyesight. In preliminary testing with a live specimen, SPZ02, we placed 4 potential meals: A dead, lesser zombie, a live lesser zombie, a human cadaver, and a live human (no worries about the volunteer. He was perfectly safe and there was no threat of the creature reaching him. He was behind 10 feet of plexi-glass). Almost immediately, the speciman (SPZ02) charged towards our volunteer, but was stopped by the glass. It continued to prod the area, looking for a way to the live human. After we withdrew the volunteer, it then focused upon the human cadaver. It began to eat, but before it could finish, we removed the body so it would not become full. After the cadaver was withdrawn, it looked upon the corpse of a smaller zombie, and a dead zombie. It left both alone, shooting down our theory of regular hunting and cannabalism. However, this has led us to believe that it has some way of knowing a human from a zombie, dead or living. These glands are also on the lesser specimens, but are much smaller.

- Also, a strange bacteria not previously known has made its home in the body of these super zombies. They seem to repair damage and regenerate any damage done to it, only to a certain extent tho. Masive trauma cannot be repaired. Hey seem to act like nanites, moving about on the body, inside the body even, and repair dead tissue. Why this doesnt counteract the virus itself has not been determined. However, we recommened extreme caution when engaging these, and if so, powerful weaponry must be used to--

FATAL ERROR 29A: PROGRAM ON HOST COMPUTER TERMINATED. UNSTABLE SYSTEM OPERATION. (PLEASE RESTART OR WAIT FOR THE HOST COMPUTER TO CONNECT AGAIN)

SEARCHINGSEARCHING

TRANSMISSION LOST. UNABLE TO TRACE (PORT 267 BLOCKED ON HOST COMPUTER, PROTOCOL L589, COMPUTER NUMBER 671)

CLOSE PROGRAM? (Y/N)

_N

/INCOMING TRASMISSION/--AUTHORIZING----CLEARED CHANNEL # 99
---DISPLAYING


SOURCE: CLASSIFIED
SUBJECT: SEND HELP---SPECIMEN IS ALIVE
FROM: DREAMLAND INFECTIOUS AGENTS BIOPSY LVL4, EMPLOYEE: CLASSIFIED
TO: ADMIRAL WALSON
FILE ATTACHMENT: NONE (VIRUS SCAN NON-APPLICABLE)
STATUS: STAND BY

DISPLAY.exec/MESSAGE/INCOMING(number11037)

Application executed. Displaying.



Please send help. There is no time. The specimen has come to, and is now stalking about the facility. I dont know if it can see me, Im pretty sure I escaped before it caught a glimpse of---shit. The damn thing is at the door. Lisen, ther is no tim to spel right, u mst now this. It hass one weknes, and one only. Yu must desroy the pitu---gieglb01888888888888888888888

FATAL ERROR 29A: PROGRAM ON HOST COMPUTER TERMINATED. UNSTABLE SYSTEM OPERATION. (PLEASE RESTART OR WAIT FOR THE HOST COMPUTER TO CONNECT AGAIN)


SEARCHINGSEARCHING

TRANSMISSION LOST. UNABLE TO TRACE (PORT 267 BLOCKED ON HOST COMPUTER, PROTOCOL L589, COMPUTER NUMBER 671)

HOST COMPUTER DISCONNECTED.

CLOSE PROGRAM? (Y/N)

_Y.

LOL at this message.

Well.....uh...well, bleh on you.

I like it, don't listen to the art critic
Perhaps even more stressed, like "shit zomb at dor brekin up u mst now tis only place to d dmg is in destr the Pitu 4wui6nehr hr Pitar t4 hjr dgc
^
|
That above, with the random thingies in the end, was simulated by swiftly dragging my hand across the keyboard, then simulating that I got up again and tried to write more but got... um.... eaten, or sumthin.
Keep up!

Malachi, you and your squadron are clear for landing. Commence procedures. And is Senior Master Sergeant Tusev there?

This is him, go on.

Upon landing, report to the bridge.

Over the cerulean ocean, the massive floating fortress, the U.S.S. Ronald Reagan, supplied a landing zone for the incoming choppers. The jet-black ospreys touched down, with the soft, dying whump-whump of their rotors more audible than the calm sea. The salty air and sea mist was good to those that had just come back from seeing, smelling, hearing, and tasting death. Gone was the rank stench of rotting flesh and death, gone were the haunting howls of the hideous creatures, and gone were the creatures themselves. Among the troops, the virus had gained the name of Todmüde, which is German for Deadbeat.

After the last of the choppers, the Immortal, touched down, three F117 attack-bombers prepared to land. Their landing gear appeared, and each one touched down after the other, the hook catching the wire and preventing them from going overboard. Out of each cockpit came a different member of the Elite Viking Squadron. Their leader, and son of Henrick Gregson, was Paeter Gregson. A man of relatively short stature, but a superb pilot. Beside him, his squadmates stood, conversing with each other about how their last mission had just gone. Their names were Walter Trupe and Nathan Vance. Both were good pilots, but still couldnt hold a candle to Paeter.

Over the loudspeaker, a message crackled:

Tusev, report to the bridge, immediately. Tusev looked sullen. He knew what was coming. He recalled the words of the captain before the mission, and sighed to himself. To his knowledge, They had lost a total of six soldiers. Tusev sighed again, took one last breath of the salty air, and hurried to the bridge, double-time.

Meanwhile, Hasvte and his squad of marines were exhausted. They were helped out of their suits, and sent to the infirmary for testing. No one was infected. After the mandatory tests, each one went to their own quarters, plopping down on the bed or reading the last letters that their friends or family sent them. Some of the wives of the crewmen had been infected, and most of those said crewmen would look longingly upon the last letter that was sent. Just last week, a deck operator threw himself overboard, and drowned. He was given a formal funeral at sea, with flowers tossed out. A picture of his wife was thrown into the water also, along with the flowers.


-------


Number Four: Zach Malerad! A terrific right hook smashed into Tusevs jaw, but Tusev stood there, fully understanding that he had failed to bring home the marines that were now back at the park, either being ripped to shreds or even worse, wandering as one of the creatures.

Number five: Tyler Hannison! Another blow connected with his jaw, and Tusev swore to himself that he had heard a crack. He thought something had broken. Hannison was one of the unlucky bastards that were taken out by a smarter creature. It ripped into his suit, behind his knee, and tore out some ligaments, and rendered him unable to walk. Within seconds, more of the things swarmed him, and he was literally ripped apart. After they had moved on, a few remains were left, including his left arm, the right half of his jaw bone, and his weapon. Nothing else.

Number six: Eric Kapa! The final punch landed on the left side of Tusevs jaw, and this time, a distinct crack was heard by both the captain and some of the crewmen. The bridge operators and crewmen watched, helpless to do anything. If anything, they understood what had happened, but still felt some pity for Tusev.

Tusev grabbed his chin, and cried out in pain. He did not fall to the floor, but remained standing. Blood dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. His jaw was now just a few centimeters off center. Tusev put his pain away, and regained what composure he had left.

Sir!...Permission to speak clearly? The captain eyed him strangely, but let up.

Granted. Go ahead.

Why is Hasvte not being reprimanded for the deaths? At this, the captain turned red, but did not explode.

Godammit! Dont you understand? I know that man is, or was responsible for their lives! I will speak to him later, but I meant for you to bring back their bodies! Marines do not leave behind fellow soldiers, even if they are dead!

With all do respect sir, most of them were ripped apart. Tusev felt as if he was going to win this argument.

Then you bring back as many pieces as you can! Now get the hell out of my sight! Tusev spun on his heel, and cradled his jaw. He slunk out of the bridge, and headed towards the infirmary for some painkillers and some patching up.


------

Kk, I added the spaces in between paragraphs and such in order to make it easier to read.

this is a very nice story death one of the best ive seen.