i cant put in background info (eg how he came to have knife throwing skills) without deviating from the story so im just gonna change it to he stabbed one in the back of the head.

Ok... there will be an update tommorow, if you were thinking this was an update, well, im sorry, but ill post more tommorow.

The story is very good. I like the Mall style (Not original, but areal good concept nevertheless), and those small moments of peace from it all (He tried to comfort his wife...) make it pretty ralistic. I'll add you, as a Ted-Ish guy in my story by the way. Soon.
Well, a comment of criticism. Some sentences are way too long.
"As he reached it, he looked out the clear glass opening, well clear if you dont count the blood stains on the lower part from zombies who got to close for some of the marine snipers on the roofs liking, he saw a lone figure running in the parking lot, he instantly knew it was a survivor, the stranger ran and jumped on top of a car and zombies turned there attention to him and started moving in his direction, all of a sudden he heard loud gunfire from the marines who were on the roof, he couldnt see them but he could hear them, he saw zombies falling and could see blood spurts occasionally, he saw the stranger pull out a gun and started shooting at them, he could see less and less zombies in the parking lot."
That is enough for, say, ten sentences....
But, keep it up!

This post has been edited by Elite viking on February 18, 2005 09:11 pm

sorry, thats just my writing style, i will try to work on that though.

NEW INSTALLMENT!

Ted walked over to the stranger who was leaning against the wall, he was breathing heavy from the skirmish outside the mall, "You ok?" ted asked. The stranger nodded as he caught his breath, Ted noticed his smoking gun he held in his hand, he identified it as a Makarov, the man regained his breath, "My name is Shaun, i was the last person alive in my neighborhood to get out..." he said before falling to the ground in exahuastion and pain from his running.

"Get this guy some water or something!" Ted yelled, a medic came running with a canteen of water and opend Shauns mouth and poured some water in it, Shaun revived a few moments later, "ohhhh my head..." he groaned, at that, some nervous marines walked close there weapons at the ready, Ted saw them come forward, "Put them down, now..."

This post has been edited by zombieslaya on February 19, 2005 04:44 pm

If the posts are going to be that size, your prob better off putting something in to make them stand out from the random chatter in the thread.